Joe Arpaio Proves Beyond Reasonable Doubt: Barack Obama Was Never Born

We can't believe we forgot to watch the "live stream" of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's press conference -- which wasn't on the teevee because of how the media is colluding to protect the illegal alien "president" -- and he has some news! In fact, Arpaio's "posse" of investigators into the national security threat (true quote!) that is B. Hussein are so good at their jobs, they even found the 95-year-old former state employee who signed Bamz's birth certificate in the first place!

But wait! If they found the employee who signed it coming up on 51 years ago, wouldn't that mean it hadn't been forged? Oh you sweet, simple thing. No. You see, "It's the codes."

The AP is on the case!

Mike Zullo, the posse's chief investigator, said numeric codes on certain parts of the birth certificate indicate that those parts weren't filled out, yet those sections asking for the race of Obama's father and his field of work or study were completed.

Zullo said investigators previously didn't know the meaning of codes but they were explained by a 95-year-old former state worker who signed the president's birth certificate. Zullo said a writer who published a book about Obama's birth certificate and was aiding investigators let them listen in on an interview he conducted of the former state worker.

There you have it. "Codes." Codes that said parts of it were left blank, even though they were filled in. You have to get up pretty early in 1961 to fool Sheriff Joe Arpaio!

But what lies is the Hawaii Attorney General's office telling, to cover this up, again?

"President Obama was born in Honolulu, and his birth certificate is valid," [a spokesman] said in a statement. "Regarding the latest allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law."

Well, that's what they would say. The truth is out there.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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