Joe Arpaio Sues New York Times For Ruining His Sterling Reputation
WHY IS JOE ARPAIO STILL HERE? After the people of Maricopa County finally kicked his flabby ass to the curb, after he won a whopping 18 percent in the GOP primary for Jeff Flake's seat, after all the horrible shit he did and still managed to grift himself a pardon, why has he not vanished in a puff of acrid, sulfurous smoke?
But Sheriff Joe has not vanished. He's like a case of drug-resistant TB, and we'll never cough him up. He and his lawyers are currently hacking globs of phlegm at the New York Times, which had the temerity to say that Arpaio is a racist nutbag who ran a jail where a whole lot of people died. So Arpaio and lawyer-to-the-loons Larry Klayman are suing the Times for $147,500,000 in punitive damages over an August 29, 2018, editorial by Michelle Cottle titled, "Well, At Least Joe Arpaio Isn't Going To Congress."
That seems like kind of a random number. Were they just eating rancid bologna leftover from Sheriff Joe's "concentration camps" and hallucinated it? Where on earth would they come up with $147,500,000?
WAIT FOR IT ...
Haha, joke's on you, Michelle Cottle! Joe Arpaio IS TOO going to Congress! John Kyl's been holding McCain's seat while Arpaio was busy getting his ass kicked by a couple of girls in the Republican primary. But come 2020, that seat belongs to Sheriff Joe. And now the New York Times must pay Arpaio $147,500,000 for defaming him and damaging his ability to raise money from the donors who would no doubt rain $147,500,000 down on an 88-year-old convicted-but-pardoned felon who crashed and burned in the last cycle.
These false factual assertions are carefully and maliciously calculated to damage and injure Plaintiff Arpaio both in the law enforcement community - which is centered in this judicial district – as well as with Republican establishment and donors, which is also centered in this judicial district, in order to prevent him from successfully run for U.S. Senate in 2020 or another public office as a Republican.
Say it together now -- I DID NAZI THAT COMING!
So what exactly did the Times say that got Sheriff Joe hotter than a non-violent prisoner trapped in a 140 degree tent in the Arizona desert?
His 24-year reign of terror was medieval in its brutality. In addition to conducting racial profiling on a mass scale and terrorizing immigrant neighborhoods with gratuitous raids and traffic stops and detentions, he oversaw a jail where mistreatment of inmates was the stuff of legend. Abuses ranged from the humiliating to the lethal. He brought back chain gangs. He forced prisoners to wear pink underwear. He set up an outdoor "tent city," which he once referred to as a "concentration camp," to hold the overflow of prisoners. Inmates were beaten, fed rancid food, denied medical care (this included pregnant women) and, in at least one case, left battered on the floor to die.
Indeed, many prisoners died in Mr. Arpaio's jail — at an alarming clip. The number of inmates who hanged themselves in his facilities was far higher than in jails elsewhere in the country. More disturbing still, nearly half of all inmate deaths on his watch were never explained. Over the years, the county paid out tens of millions in wrongful death and injury settlements.
He's also mad that they called him out for not investigating a bunch of sex crimes (including the rape of children) because his department was too busy rounding up people with Hispanic names and looking for Obama's real birth certificate.
All of which is just FACT CHECK TRUE. So Sheriff Joe probably won't be getting his $147,500,000 after all, truth being an absolute defense to defamation. Guess poor Joe will just have to make his money the old-fashioned way, by grifting it off cousin-humping mouth-breathers who'll show up at MAGA rallies and buy his book to own the libs. KA-CHING!
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.