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Joe Miller Pretty Sure That Immigrants Are Coming To Take Your Guns Away

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You will recall that we grudgingly started paying attention to the Alaska senator's race because senior senator Lisa Murkowski is SO MAD that junior senator Mark Begich is going around saying they are friends. Now one of Begich's possible Republican opponents, walking anger management issue Joe Miller, is trying to get himself some attention by sending out some super nice fliers that are also really well-designed and also, too, not at all racist fear-mongering.


A flyer for Joe Miller’s campaign features the image, taken from a 2007 book, Young and Lethal: Life in a Mexican Drug Cartel, and says incumbent Sen. Mark Begich (D-AZ) [sic] “wants them to vote.”

“If 20 million illegals vote, you can kiss the 2nd Amendment goodbye,” a quote attributed to Miller states. “I am the only candidate who favors Voter ID.”

See? Butter wouldn't melt in Joe Miller's mouth. Nice as pie, he is.

But wait, Joe Miller. Why will all of these 20 million eeeleeegalls who immediately get the vote just by thinking about walking across the border vote to make the Second Amendment go away?

“If you end up granting amnesty to those who don’t value gun rights, who have not been raised in an environment where the Second Amendment is cherished — is considered to be a God-given right — the reality is over a generation or two, the likelihood is very strong that the 2nd Amendment will not be here.”

So wait. A lawless horde is amassing at the border, bent on destruction, because they come from lawless lands, but because those lawless lands don't have the actual Second Amendment, once they get here they'll just be like "whevs, we never liked guns anyway." How does your brain even hold a thought that dumb in your cranium for very long? Shouldn't it slip out through your ear canal or something? The only explanation we have for this is that Joe Miller's skull is filled with a Mad Libs book where every page is about guns, so no matter what shakes loose in there, it eventually connects up with something about weapons and then Joe opens his bearded yell-hole and it just comes slithering out. There's got to be something he can take for that, right? Let's buy it for him.

[Raw Story]

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Image: Dana Rohrabacher's office

The Associated Press finally called the race in California's 48th Congressional District late Saturday for Democratic challenger Harley Rouda, bringing an end to nearly 30 years in Congress for US Rep. Dana Rohrabacher. Over the years, Rohrabacher had represented not only his super-conservative Orange County district, but also the Taliban and Russia, and as his district has become more liberal -- or at least less frothingly rightwing John Birch Society-esque -- it was probably only a matter of time until his seat went blue. Rohrabacher's enthusiastic defenses of Donald Trump and of Vladimir Putin only hastened the swing this year. Too bad, so sad!

Let us bid a fond but not drawn out farewell to one of Congress's more spectacular idiots while we hope he's joined by many others, soon.

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HOLY WEEKEND NEWS DUMPS! While Donald Trump was across the ocean getting dunked on by Emmanuel Macron and skipping ceremonies for war heroes because he was scared his shithole hair would get messed up, journalists kept digging into the life and times of Trump's fake acting attorney general Matthew Whitaker, and DAMN. All's we know is that the Deep State must fuckin' HAAAAAAAAATE that guy, whose appointment was probably completely illegal and unconstitutional in the first place so why are we even talking about this.

We already knew bits and pieces about Matt Whitaker's scammy scummy fraud-y old gig, on the advisory board of a scammy scummy fraud-y company called World Patent Marketing, that did some MILD FRAUDS. When customers got mad, Whitaker would write them mean threatening letters. (You should read about how they "scammed US military veterans out of their life savings," as The Guardian puts it. Happy Veterans Day!)

What we didn't know -- and what one of the victims and also some other unknown people (deep state!) were more than happy to tell the Wall Street Journal -- is that FUCKIN' COMPANY IS UNDER FBI INVESTIGATION. And Whitaker was on the advisory board! And he made videos for the company! And he sent those mean threatening letters! What we're saying is that Whitaker is in deep.

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