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Joe Miller Still Suing Alaska For Not Letting Him Win

News
  • Lisa Murkowski leads bearded fraud Joe Miller by more than 1,700 votes, and there are still thousands of write-in ballots that haven't even been counted yet, ergo: Lisa Murkowski totally won, suck a fat one and choke on it, Joe Miller! But facts are stupid things invented by people who didn't go to Yale Law School, so Joe Miller is not worried, and he certainly isn't conceding anytime soon. Instead, he will keep suing Alaska, in his last sad attempt to disenfranchise Alaskan voters. Sarah Palin has already endorsed Joe Miller's lawsuit, on Twitter, so it is sure to succeed. (Note: Even if Jesus made a cameo appearance on Sarah Palin's reality teevee show and ordered Alaska not to use "discretion" when counting write-in ballots, Joe Miller still wouldn't have enough votes to win.) Ha ha, Joe Miller is such a jerk. [ADN]
  • Do you have scurvy or some other sailors disease, because you cannot afford vegetables or foodstuffs with nutritional value? It's not unlikely, according to "U.S. agriculture officials." 16.6 percent of Americans are malnourished and constantly hungry, and "enrollment in the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, formerly known as the Food Stamp Program, has grown 58 percent over the last three years and reaches more than 42 million participants." In other Food News: Glenn Beck says that George Soros is going to raise bread prices. We don't even know what that means, but we love bread! Fuck! [McClatchy]


  • Pilots are really unhappy about being finger-banged by TSA Gropesmiths, even though these TSA people wear gloves and are certified high school graduates! Are airplane pilots prudes, or terrorists? Probably both: "'If a pilot like me is going to be up to no good, why would he need a butter knife?' [some terrorist-pilot] said. 'I'm in control of the entire airplane!'" Yes, but what if a three-year-old girl got a hold of that butter knife? Put that butter knife through the Porno-Scanner, we wanna see its titties. [Fox News]

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If there is anything that right-wing men seem to love, it is paying lots and lots of money to other dudes who will tell them how to live and/or function.

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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