John Boehner Said A Swear About Ted Cruz!
The orange man who is the boss of the House of Representatives opened his orange face at a Colorado fundraiser and out came a cuss! And, boy howdy, we agree with him for once. He said the "J" word about Ted Cruz!
Speaker of the House John Boehner stunned audience members Wednesday evening at a Colorado fundraiser by referring to Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz as a “jackass,” two people in attendance tell The Daily Caller.
At a Steamboat Springs event for GOP Rep. Scott Tipton, the Ohio Republican quipped that he likes how Cruz’s presidential campaign keeps “that jackass” out of Washington, and from telling Boehner how to do his job.
Haha, lots of Republicans tell Boehner how to do his job, because Boehner kind of sucks at it LOL. And he hates them real good too. It's a system they have, of hating each other. (Also, too, everybody hates Ted Cruz. Whole lotta hatin' goin' on, in the GOP.)
Some of the people in attendance thought Boehner's pottymouth was over the line:
“It’s becoming very disturbing to me that we can’t have good, polite conversation,” MacArthur said. “It all has to be at the throat.” [...]
Another Steamboat Springs resident confirmed Boehner’s remark: “I about fell on the floor.”
OH MY STARS! He should have said at the beginning that his speech was gonna be rated PG-13, doncha think???
Anyway, again, we agree that Ted Cruz is a jackass, but out of all the cusses, that one's pretty lazy. In fact, Boehner's cusses usually are, except this one time. Here are some things Wonkette has called Cruz in the past, all of which were easily searchable on the internet, had John Boehner not been drunk or sobbing and therefore unable to search the Wonk archives. Try these next time!
- "Canadian-Cuban-Dickfungus-American Ted Cruz."
- "Wrong" and "Bad" and "Stupid" and "Dumbass." Just pick a couple of those words and put 'em together!
- "Walking bag of petulance." This one is good because it's not even a cuss, it's just mean!
- "Whiny tantrum-baby Ted Cruz (R-Brylcreem)." See? Another Not-Cuss. Use the English language, man, it is your friend!
- "Prominent Canadian gag gift."
- "Evil soulless bastard." Not swear-y, just factual.
- We're tired of searching the Wonk archives now, but how about: Dickweasel, pus-gurgling genital lesion and whiny ass FUCKHOLE? Those work?
So, those are some good tips for John Boehner, hopefully they won't make him CRY A LOT. Feel free to come up with creative cussy words in the comments, Wonkers, which are not allowed. (Just remember our Rules for Commenting Radicals.) Show him how much you love words!