John McCain's Daughter Yelling At Amy Klobuchar Now
Meghan McCain, who is rumored to be John McCain's daughter, did that thing again where she's terrible. Sen. Amy Klobuchar was campaigning in Des Moines, Iowa, Saturday and shared a personal anecdote about attending Donald Trump's "dark" inauguration. Klobuchar was seated between Senators John McCain and Bernie Sanders -- the meat in a sandwich entirely made of crusts. She claimed McCain basically heckled Trump during his jackbooted speech.
KLOBUCHAR: John McCain kept reciting to me names of dictators during that speech because he knew more than any of us what we were facing as a nation. He understood it. He knew because he knew this man more than any of us did.
That's adorable. McCain was identifying Trump's sampled dictator beats. Unfortunately, Klobuchar doesn't own the stage rights to any part of her life where McCain, a personal friend, was present. Meghan McCain scolded the more accomplished, overall more impressive Klobuchar on Twitter Monday.
Get over yourself, MegsTwitter
Megs thinks it important to note that she's the official voice of every McCain currently in existence. She probably orders pizza for family game nights the same way: "On behalf of the entire McCain family, I'd like an extra large BBQ Bacon Ranch." We'd ask who the hell Megs McCabe thinks she is, but we kinda already know. The more pressing question is who does Megs think John McCain was? Klobuchar wasn't spilling tea about fellow Minnesotan Prince, who rarely spoke publicly or all that coherently about politics. John McCain ran for president twice, so it's fair to say his "legacy" involved presidential politics.
It's not as if Klobuchar revealed anything we didn't already know. McCain pulled his endorsement of Trump a few weeks before the 2016 election. He was a vocal critic of Trump -- not just his policies but his distinct lack of character. Just a month before he died, McCain described Trump's embarrassing soccer ball-accepting display with Vladimir Putin in Helsinki as "one of the most disgraceful performances by an American president in memory." He proactively disinvited him -- the sitting president -- from his own funeral. McCain also read Trump for filth in his memoir, which you don't need Klobuchar to read to you. You can buy copies online or at a bookstore if you're over 40.
MCCAIN: I'm not sure what to make of President Trump's convictions. He threatened to deliberately kill the spouses and children of terrorists, implying that an atrocity of that magnitude would show the world America's toughness. His lack of empathy for refugees, innocent, persecuted, desperate men, women, and children is disturbing. The way he speaks about them is appalling, as if welfare or terrorism were the only purposes they could have in coming to our country. His reaction to unflattering news stories, calling them 'fake news,' whether they're credible or not, is copied by autocrats who want to discredit and control a free press. … Flattery secures his friendship, criticism his enmity.
That last line could also fairly describe McCain's own daughter, who is a self-styled conservative Joan of Arc if Joan of Arc was completely useless and liked to obnoxiously quote Young Gunz.
Seriously, get over yourselfTwitter
Lately, McCain herself has gone to great lengths to defend the president who regularly insulted her father. She tends to equate insulting Trump with insulting Trump voters and thus all Republicans. Last week, she insisted Trump was "incredibly popular" in "states that matter" like Pennsylvania.
MCCAIN: The other thing I would like to make clear is I come here every day trying to show a different perspective and basically when I walk out of my apartment, it's an unpopular one but it's important to explain what's going on in Montoursville and why people would travel to see [Trump].
Jesus, lady, no one's making you live in New York. Your mother still has a house or five in Arizona. McCain is just trying to offer some "on the ground" insider knowledge of the average voter so Democrats "don't blow this." However, McCain's political advice is as incompetent as her personal stylist. A recent poll shows most major Democratic candidates either tied with or beating Trump outright in Pennsylvania. Even the black lady from California is tied with Trump in a state he won in 2016. Polls aren't as predictive as we'd like but they're still more reliable than anything that comes out of Megs McCabe's mouth.
McCain claims we can do "better" than Trump and has kinda, sorta endorsed Joe Biden. Does anyone believe she'll actually go through with it? McCain's husband is publisher of The Federalist, which has argued that Biden shouldn't apologize to Anita Hill but to Clarence Thomas for ... apparently helping make him a Supreme Court justice? McCain believes Democrats are equally responsible for the Trump brand shit show in Washington. Pointing out that Republicans overwhelmingly support Trump is apparently "demonizing" them in McCain's mind, which is as closed as your local Blockbuster.
We're not the biggest fans of John McCain, but we think he'd still involve himself in presidential politics and remind everyone that Trump is terrible. He wouldn't pull his punches because it hurts the feelings of MAGA-hat wearers or threatens the bottom line of his son-in-law's garbage rag. He's not a common Lindsey Graham.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).