Jonathan Alter singlehandedly launched fat goblin Chris Christie's much-awaited fictional presidential bid today, on Twitter, discussed it with himself a while, un-launched it, and then clarified that he only wishes Chris Christie were running for president. Or at least that is what someone told us this says, because we still do not speak Twit. Remember to "start at the bottom, or end there, metaphorically, whatever" when reading.

[Twitter]