'Journalist' Mark Halperin Has World's Most Adorable Crush On Donald Trump

Somebody wants to be on Trump TV!

Out of all the hacky hacks in the Beltway media, one of the hackiest hacky hacks is Mark Halperin. He wrote that awful book, Game Change! And he's been doing some truly AMAZING shilling for Donald Trump over the course of the past year. Way back in March, Halperin said on the "Morning Joe" program that Trump is more talented as a presidential candidate than Barack Obama. He said it was impossible for Trump to be racist against that Mexican judge, because "Mexican is not a race." He thinks it was just super mean of the New York Times to release that hilarious lawyer letter in response to Trump's toothless threats to sue the paper for libel.

Now, everybody is laughing at a truly pathetic, kiss-ass, fan boy interview Halperin did with Trump on Wednesday, after Trump hopped off the campaign trail to go to the "grand opening" of his shitty hotel in Washington. Instead of giving you a transcript of Trump's words -- because fuck him -- we'd like to just give you some of the questions Halperin thought, in his hack journalist brain, would be good to ask Trump.

  • Would you be surprised to hear Hillary Clinton has already criticized the hotel?
  • People who say this was a great Trump speech, as far as you're concerned, they're all great?
  • You've redefined how candidates talk about polls. Some polls now you're winning. (!!!! - Ed.) Some you're behind. We've got a new poll where you're up in Florida. What's your general sense of where you are in the battleground states? Florida, Iowa, Ohio?
  • What do you want the American people to know about the message out of [the leaked John Podesta Wikileaks emails]?
  • Are you a little under the weather?
  • No, you're feeling good! You're closing strong, you think!
  • I've never met a presidential candidate who didn't get sick!
  • You were criticized yesterday for not necessarily explaining how healthcare works well enough. Do you want to revise and extend what you said?

As to the answers, Trump's speeches are all good, but some are different from each other; Trump is going to win; Trump feels healthy and yoooge and wonderful; and no, Trump does not want to revise and extend his idiot comments on Obamacare, because they were already perfect.

Presumably, after he asked these questions, Halperin begged Trump to take a selfie with him and record the outgoing message on his home answering machine, because douchewads like Mark Halperin probably still have those. Then he fell asleep and had sweet, sweet dreams about how maybe one day he can work for Trump TV and get away from all the snobby liberal elite journalists at MSNBC and Bloomberg who make fun of him and say he's even stupider than Chuck Todd. Meanies!

PS Mark Halperin makes one million dollars a year, the end.

[The Daily Beast]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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