GENTLE SUGGESTION: Maybe Judge Boxwine Not Very Good At Job

Yesterday afternoon, Judge Jeanine "Boxwine" Pirro and her friends sat around their big round table, like they do every day, and Boxwine shared some very important facts. They were talking about South Carolina, because Nikki Haley, and with a straight face she told her pals that "59 percent of the Black vote in South Carolina is Republican."

Oh, whoa if true! Wouldn't that be a thing? Is there something about Black voters in South Carolina that 59 percent of them are MAGA idiots? Did that fact even make sense to Pirro before she said it?

As the Daily Beast's Justin Baragona notes in that tweet, it is true that 59 percent of white voters in South Carolina are Republicans, according to Pew, which is a statistic that would make sense to literally any political commentator in America with a week and half experience on the job, and in fact sounds pretty low. Did she mean 70 percent? Eighty? Are only 59 percent of South Carolina white people Republican because South Carolina white people are getting "woke"? LOL.

Now sure, maybe Pirro just mixed her numbers up, but she's done this before. (And again, any moron, before telling viewers that 59 percent of South Carolina's Black voters are Republicans, should at least turn their briefing papers around to make sure they're not reading them upside down. There should be some kind of knowledge back there in their political pundit brain that says "Hold the Franzia, that can't be correct. I think I'll check before I tell all these Fox News-watching geezers something they'll be laughed at for by their kids when they say it at the dinner table later.")

We are thinking of the time she splurted out to viewers that she had stats right in front of her that say there are 63 MILLION ABORTIONS PER YEAR in the United States, and with a straight face declared that "That's a little much!" Why yes, it would be, since that would mean just about every woman between 15 and 44 would have an abortion every year in America. Maybe if she turned her papers around she'd find that there have been about 63 million abortions in America since Roe was decided in 1973?

Or the time recently after the midterms when this judge named Pirro told viewers that Democrats won because "Abortion just kinda fell outta of the Supreme Court for whatever reason!" The Supreme Court was just going about its day, baking banana bread and things like that, and BOOM! abortion. How does a lawsuit go from being crafted by the religious Right all the way to the Supreme Court? Judge Boxwine does not know. It just kinda fell outta there! Good political analysis! She is aware of basic facts!

What we are saying is that it is possible that Judge Boxwine is not very good at her job.

Having made that relatively non-radical suggestion, this blog post is hereby declared finished.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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