Mitch McConnell's been having a bad week. Actually, it's been one long shitstorm since January 20. But he did have that one good day in April when Justice Gorsuch was sworn in to the Supreme Court. Sure, he had to break the Senate to do it, BUT HE GOT IT DONE. So when Old Yertle feels sad about all the millions of people who still have healthcare, he just shouts GORSUCH a bunch of times until he feels like less of a useless figurehead who sold his soul to the devil and is now yoked to an illiterate loon who is breaking the Republican party.

Last week, like a miracle from heaven, The Goldenboy himself agreed to stand next to McConnell in public and make people forget for a moment that he's an incompetent loser who can't get shit done! #THEPOWEROFPRAYER

Wait, can he do that?

Justice Gorsuch can do anything his little heart desires! Every other federal judge is obliged to avoid even the appearance of bias and impropriety. But Supreme Court Justices have no code of judicial ethics. Which is how we got Dick Cheney in that duck blind with Antonin Scalia. Nice to know that the guy who took old Nino's seat is carrying on the tradition!

During Gorsuch's confirmation hearing, Democratic Rep. Louise Slaughter asked him if he thought Supreme Court Justices should be bound by the same ethical code as lower court judges.

"I have no problem living under the rules I've lived under," Gorsuch said. "I'm quite comfortable with them. And I've had no problem reporting every year to the best of my abilities everything I can. … I consider if part of the price of service and it's a reasonable and fair one."

UH HUH. Well, he may have had no problem living under the old rules. But he seems to like the no rules system better.

Kickin' It In Kentucky

Last week McConnell introduced Gorsuch at speeches in Louisville and Lexington. Justice Gorsuch made sexxytalk about originalism,

I worry that any theory of judgment that asks us to weigh costs and benefits and decide what we judges think the optimal rule for the future might be, risks dropping the founders’ baton and conflates the judicial role with the legislative function.

And McConnell made a little, happy turtle tinkle inside his shell, since that's code for blacks and gays and poors getting exactly what they got 250 years ago, as the founders intended.

But The Goldenboy was just getting started!

What even is Emolument?

Yesterday, Justice Neil Gorsuch gave a speech to a wingnut thinktank at Donald Trump's DC Hotel. The same DC hotel that is the subject of several lawsuits alleging that Donald Trump is violating the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution by accepting money from foreign governments. The same hotel which is owned by the federal government and leased under an agreement that mandates that no federal official may personally profit from it. The same hotel whose profits go directly into a revocable trust for the benefit of Donald Trump. The same hotel that will inevitably be the subject of litigation before the Supreme Court, where Justice Gorsuch blesses the country with his originalist wisdom.

Nothing to see here, folks!

That's the line The Fund For American Studies is taking, anyway. It's cool, they said, because we're not charging admission to the Gorsuch event. It's just a nice thank you for people who have supported our work.

To which we at Wonkette say, PISS OFF, YOU FAKE INTELLECTUALS! DO YOU THINK WE WERE BORN YESTERDAY? The Fund for American Studies (TFAS) exists to teach young people that an orderly society requires them to cast off their childish sympathy for the poor and downtrodden.

TFAS offers transformational programs that teach the principles of limited government, free-market economics and honorable leadership to students and young professionals in America and around the world.

They take college students and brainwash them into thinking that it's patriotic to destroy the little social safety net Americans have. TFAS is a poisonous cancer on the country, funded by the Koch brothers and the rest of the taxcutting maniacs who are investing in a future generation of small government sociopaths.

We know damn well that you TFAS wingnuts didn't charge admission to hear Justice Gorsuch. No shit there were no pledge cards on the table at the Defending Freedom (To Sleep Under a Bridge) Luncheon. Because when you have guys like Donald Rumsfeld and Trump's gazillionaire BFF Christopher Ruddy over to lunch, you don't hand them a bill. TFAS doesn't want a hundred dollars to pay for the chicken breast and ceasar salad. They want a hundred thousand dollars to produce more politicians who think that government subsidized health insurance is a gross affront to freedom and the Constitution.

And next week, they're going to start collecting. Everyone knows the drill: They'll divide the guest list among the board members. They'll call or meet for golf to talk about how special it was to have a Supreme Court Justice. Wasn't it great when he said,

Keeping our republic depends on certain very special conditions and perhaps highest on the list is the necessity of what the people know. That they know something about how their government works and what it is supposed to do and what it is not supposed to do.

That guy is really on our side, they'll say. It's time for the big push. And then they make the ask.


So don't piss on our leg and tell us it's raining. This was a fundraiser, Justice Gorsuch doesn't give a damn about ethics, and TFAS just bribed the president. Oh, and Mitch McConnell is still a loser who can't get shit done.

[NBC / / Politico / Bloomberg Politics]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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