Justice Scalia Knows The Blacks Are Too Dumb For Real Colleges
What? It's SCIENCE!
You'll be shocked to know that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia said a Not Very Nice But Very Typical Of Him thing on Wednesday. Was it about lady parts? Homo parts? Nope, this time it was about African-American brain parts:
He argued that "most of the black scientists in this country do not come from the most advanced schools" and that they benefit from a "slower track."
"They're being pushed into schools that are too advanced for them," Scalia said Wednesday of minority students accepted under affirmative action programs.
Scalia pulled this gemtastic nugget of argle bargle out of his sodomy-free butthole during oral arguments of Fisher v. University of Texas-Austin, a case about some dumb white lady named Abigail Fisher who keeps suing and suing because she says some dumber black lady (or man-lady) stoled her spot at the University of Texas, with affirmative action. We needn't bother you with all the lawsplaining details of this case for you to roll your eyes SO FREAKIN' HARD at Scalia being such a Scalia.
His evidence that The Blacks do better at "slower" safety schools, with their slower black brains, comes from an amicus brief he did not identify, but we're assuming it was filed in support of the poor dumb white lady and those who want to get rid of affirmative action because of how it is so unfair to other dumb white kids.
But it's just so obvious, isn't it, that it's plain mean to even encourage The Blacks to go to good schools? We all know how President Barack Obama was unfairly forced by affirmative action to attend Harvard Law School, and just look at what a miserable twice-elected failure that guy turned out to be? If only he'd gone to, say, the Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego -- diversity and sunny days! -- he might have made something of himself.
We won't try predicting how the Court will decide this case, but we're sure that whatever opinion or dissent Scalia inevitably writes, it's gonna be a real humdinger.