Kari Lake Victory Proves Republicans Need No Help Electing Kooks

Kari Lake — woman with short brown pixie cut and coral printed shirt

Last night, Trump-endorsed Arizona gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake won her primary, beating out her "normal" rival, Karrin Taylor Robson, along with two other candidates. Robson, the choice of outgoing Gov. Doug Ducey, spent millions more than Lake on advertising (approximately $13 million of her own money) and had Ducey, Mike Pence, and Chris Christie stumping for her but just couldn't compete with Lake's strong stances on important kitchen table issues like plus-size models being on the cover of Sports Illustratedand drag queens existing.

“Though the results took longer than they should have, Arizonans who have been forgotten by the establishment just delivered a political earthquake,” Lake said upon her victory, acknowledging her lack of interest in votes actually being counted.

PREVIOUSLY! Kari Lake Pretty Sure Her Enemies Are Stealing AZ Election She’s Already Won

Lake will now face Democratic Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, who said, “This race for governor isn’t about Democrats or Republicans. It’s a choice between sanity and chaos,” after news broke of Lake's win. The problem with that, however, is that chaos is getting pretty darn good at winning elections these days.

Lake was far from the only MAGA candidate to win in Arizona. The AP reports that "Trump’s picks for U.S. Senate, secretary of state, attorney general, U.S. House and the state Legislature all won their GOP primaries," which does not exactly bode well for the future of elections in Arizona. These are all candidates who believe in the "Big Lie," and they were likely propelled to their wins by voters who were upset that Gov. Ducey refused to change the results of the state's presidential election to favor Donald Trump. Lake herself was openly pissed that they were counting all of the votes instead of just handing her a tiara and telling her she'd won. Who knows what they'll do if they all make it! Probably institute a rule that vote counting stops as soon as it looks like a Republican is winning.

Sanity vs. Chaos is a match-up Democrats have been hoping for in a number of states, where some have invested millions in propping up the wackiest MAGA, QAnon, Trump candidates they can find, believing they can pull a Claire McCaskill and beat them more easily than an establishment Republican. They didn't need to do that in Arizona, though. Kari Lake got there all on her own. And the scary thing is, a lot of these candidates probably didn't need the help either. It's not 2012 anymore.

You know, I've been told I'm just too idealistic, thinking we can do pie-in-the-sky things like have socialized health care, get rid of the death penalty, stop locking people up so much and for so long, get rid of at-will employment, institute free public college — like we're some kind of "every other industrialized nation on earth" or something. But I simply do not have the kind of faith in humanity it takes to legitimately believe that a Nikki Haley would be more difficult to beat than a Marjorie Taylor Greene. I just don't. I've seen too much at this point to believe that's true.

Hobbs is polling above Lake in polls though, and those polls show her being more likely to beat Lake than Robson or any of the other candidates — so fingers crossed that I'm wrong and that the state that brought us Wendy Rogers will, indeed, choose sanity over chaos.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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