Kari Lake’s Still Here

Voters might’ve jilted Kari Lake last month, but the Miss Havisham of Arizona is still clinging to her faded dreams. The gubernatorial race was called two weeks ago, and while close, the results weren’t within the half a percentage point margin necessary for a recount. The completed count confirms that Governor-Elect Katie Hobbs defeated Lake by 17,116 votes.

Yet, unlike her fellow election-denying Republican candidates who lost like losers, Lake refuses to concede. That in itself doesn’t change the outcome. It’s just annoying.

Vox ran an article this week about the failed candidate's "lonely and deeply absurd quest to challenge the Arizona election results.” Lake's already relegated to comedy even though her election-denying antics might lead to tragedy.


AZ Gov Loser Kari Lake Slowly Fading Away, Still Whining About Election She Lost

AZ Gov Race Loser Kari Lake Still Refusing To Concede Race She Lost Like Loser

She declared in a video posted Monday on Truth Social that the race she lost was one of the “most dishonest elections in the history of Arizona” and its results "should not be certified.” But they are certified, with the exception of Cochise County. The Republican-controlled Board of Supervisors delayed certification until Friday for BS reasons. However, Lake would only lose bigger if very red Cochise’s results aren’t included. Ever the gracious winner, Hobbs, who’s the secretary of state, is suing the county so it’ll do its job.

Lake nonetheless insists there’s a path to victory for her. She’s still identified in accommodating interviews as Arizona "gubernatorial candidate,” even though the election ended weeks ago. She doesn’t care. She’s gonna wear that wedding dress forever, no matter how much it stinks.

Tuesday, on "Steve Bannon’s War Room," Lake briefed the convicted felon on the status of her crusade. “What’s the path forward?” Bannon asked. There isn’t one, but her response was nothing if not detailed.

"Well, the path forward is we’re waiting for, you know, as Vaughn Hilliard said, ‘We’re waiting for the state to certify,’ and we will watch as crooked Katie Hobbs and Gov. Doug Ducey and Mark Brnovich do a repeat of 2020 where they signed their John Hancock to the certification. And then we will be bringing forth our case."

But ... once the election is certified, it’s over. Well, it’s been over for a while now, but the certification means it’s really over. Why is she still here? It’s over. Go home.

Lake elaborated further on her nonsense, nuisance case: "We have a very good case. I feel very confident in our case, as do our lawyers, and we will work through the court system. I believe that there will be judges out there who realize what’s at stake here, and will do the right thing. And when they hear our case, I think it’s gonna be really hard for them not to do the right thing.”

There’s not much legal remedy after the election’s been certified. That’s why numerous judges in 2020 laughed Donald Trump’s coup-coup cases out of court.

We know Lake believes the election is “illegitimate” on account that she didn’t win, but her argument is actually weaker, if that’s possible, than Trump’s multiple “Frankenstein monster” suits. She’s not trying to throw out mail-in ballots or toss the results from predominately minority areas. She’s pinning everything on some annoying issues with voting machines on Election Day. This is not a unique situation, either. Georgia primary voters reported issues with voting machines and long lines in 2020. Nse Ufot, executive director of New Georgia Project, called it "a hot, flaming, fucking mess.” She’s awesome.

Lake admitted that “people are saying, ‘Why haven’t we seen more? What are you doing?’” She’s scamming you, that’s what. She assures the gullible and angry that her team is following a process. She’s going to keep this up through Gov. Hobbs’s second term.

“Somebody said, ‘Kari, you’re fearless.’” Sure, we absolutely believe someone said that instead of Lake talking to her reflection in a Vaseline-coated mirror. “And I said, ‘You know, I guess I’m fearless right now in this difficult time because what I fear most of all is what happens if we don’t step forward and act with courage.’ Right now, what we’re left with, we will have a shell of our country.”

Vox suggests this is all strategic on Lake’s part. She’s auditioning for Trump’s VP spot. If so, nothing says “winner” more than two confirmed losers who won’t shut up about the elections they lost.

[Mediaite / Vox]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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