Oh boy, it's another Mommy War! In one corner, Joe and Nicole Naugler, of Breckenridge County, Kentucky, who have a Facebook page -- "My Blessed Little Homestead" -- documenting their adventures in off-the-grid parenting and homesteading, making crafts, and natural living. In the other, the jackbooted thugs of Kentucky Child Protective Services, who either swooped in and kidnapped the Nauglers' 10 children because the government hates freedom and homeschooling, or maybe because the parents were raising the kids in a garbage-strewn shack and "educating" them by letting them wander around like stray chickens. (Apparently this is called "unschooling," and it is considered a good thing by some folks. Then again, so is Ted Cruz.)


We first heard about the story in the enlightening pages of "Medical Kidnap," the "natural-health" blog that attributes all CPS investigations to the ongoing Big Government agenda of oppressing homeschoolers and fans of whatever weird-ass nutritional fads the editors favor at any given moment, which is All Of Them, Katie. Here's the blog's idyllic description of the paradise that CPS shattered:

Joe and Nicole Naugler live on a homestead in rural Kentucky. They live a very simple life. They garden and raise animals. They are industrious people trying to teach their children how to live right.

They have ten children who are homeschooled on the homestead. They contribute to the success of the family crops and livestock, all while learning about the amazing beauty of life.

And then the sheriff and CPS jackboots showed up, stoled the children, and arrested Nicole Naugler for disorderly conduct simply because she tried to drive away with the children instead of "passively allowing the Sheriff to take her boys."

According to audio of the encounter between Nicole Naugler and a sheriff's deputy, Ms. Naugler at one point dared the deputy to shoot her:

Deputy: Ma'am, sit down!

Nicole Naugler: You cannot kidnap my son!

Deputy: You're gonna be under arrest.

Nicole Naugler: You can shoot me dead, shoot me dead but you won't kidnap my son!

Deputy: Ma'am, You need to sit down in that car!

Nicole Naugler: Shoot me!

She seems nice. Ms. Naugler also apparently refused to answer whether she would rule out shooting law enforcement officers if they tried to remove the kids.

Despite the claim that the Nauglers have been targeted for vengeance because they homeschool, the reality seems -- and we're sure you'll be astonished at this! -- a tad more complicated. Nicole Naugler posted photos of the CPS report to her Facebook page, and it appears that maybe the investigation had a bit more to do with an incident in which Joe Naugler allegedly "threatened a neighbor with a weapon," and also asked one of the children to hand him the gun, which was apparently part of the homeschooling curriculum that day.

The CPS report also details other iffy aspects of the modern-day Eden in which the children were being raised, where "numerous piles of garbage, broken glass and nails were also scattered about the property," while the family lived in "two makeshift tents," and a shed (also of the "makeshift" variety) housed several animals; the report also noted that the property had no running water or septic system.

RawStory describes the property thusly:

Facebook photos show the family lived in a crude shack with a plastic roof and three walls made from sticks – although the couple insist they set up a fourth wall during the winter.

Apparently, it didn't help the Nauglers' case when they turned and spoke directly to the camera, breaking the fourth wall and exposing the children to the elements and to postmodern narrative devices. Here's one of their photos of the "cabin," which seems maybe a bit of a stretch for the term:

It's ... airy? Can't quite see it being all that great in midwinter, but we'll leave it to You The Wonkettariate to discuss amongst yourself if that's paradise. To us, it looks like camping, and we prefer our camping to be a short-term activity, not a lifestyle.

According to RawStory, other homeschoolers in the area weren't universally supportive of the Nauglers; the problem wasn't so much that the Nauglers were homeschooling their kids as just not schooling them at all, except of course for the important communing with nature and handing Daddy his gun lessons:

[O]ther homeschooling parents in the area were uncomfortable with the couple, claiming the Nauglers hid behind the unschooling and off-the-grid movements to cover their lackadaisical parenting.

“These people are nothing but trouble and are now reaping what they sow,” said one Facebook commenter who claimed to know the couple when they were previously “causing all kinds of problems” for the Mormon Church in nearby Elizabethtown.

“I home school my children, (and) my children are taught the things they need to know to be successful,” the commenter said. “What the Naugler’s (sic) do is simply call it home schooling when in fact they are too lazy to actually home school them.”

In other words, the Nauglers were obviously such wonderful parents that other people were determined to tear them down.

Needless to say, the Nauglers have a Goddamn GoFundMe that has raised nearly $40,000 to help them fight off government interference; it also appears that some of their supporters have perhaps been a tad overzealous in their enthusiasm to "help," as a Monday post by Nicole Naugler hints:

We face the possibility that the children won't be returned today. We pray that won't happen, but we are prepared. We continue to ask that there is no violence or threats of violence to anyone associated with the case, regardless of the outcome.

Please, leave the armed threats to the Nauglers -- they know what they're doing.

Needless to say, the post is illustrated with a photo of Martin Luther King, accompanied by a quote by his best pal, Ron Paul, because it's 2015 and everything is like that now, pretty much.

[RawStory / Medical Kidnap / KathrynBrightbill / WAVE-TV / "My Blessed Little Homestead" on Facebook]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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