Kevin McCarthy Crying Fat Hot Baby Tears Before Joe Biden's SO MEAN State Of The Union

National Politics
Kevin McCarthy Crying Fat Hot Baby Tears Before Joe Biden's SO MEAN State Of The Union

Tonight, President Joe Biden will deliver his first State of the Union address since the Chinese spy balloon conquered the nation. Monday, House Rep. Jim Jordan wondered how Biden could claim the state of the union is "strong" when we are all obviously enslaved under the Chinese spy balloon's sinister rule. He's a very serious person.

Biden plans to call for bipartisan cooperation and mature governance in DC, which he knows won't happen with Republicans narrowly yet stupidly in control of the House, but it will draw an effective contrast. He's the "adult in the room," and unfortunately, the House is run by mewling infants. Forget the almost quaint by comparison "You lie!" heckling of the Obama years. We'll consider it a win if Republicans don't collectively moon Biden.

House Republican Boss Baby (but with a less commanding, far whinier voice) Kevin McCarthy has already volunteered some notes for Biden's speech tonight. According to CNN's Manu Raju, McCarthy told Biden to not use “extreme MAGA Republicans” in his speech. “I don't think that's appropriate comment that the President should make," he said. "I've expressed that to him in private and we've had discussions about that as well."

Presumably, Biden told McCarthy to perform an anatomically difficult sexual act. Republicans don't even use the correct term "Democratic Party," insisting on saying "Democrat Party" with perhaps a deliberate emphasis on "rat." When Democrats controlled the House, McCarthy would often claim the body was run by "socialist Democrats," which was and still is an outright lie. Democratic leaders (and most mainstream Democrats) make a point of saying they aren't socialists, whereas Republicans all but take MAGA blood oaths. Hakeem Jeffries and Katherine Clark don't wear baseball caps with SOCIALIST on them.

Biden is characteristically generous when he says "extreme MAGA Republicans" because the entire party is a wet bag of rabid insurrection squirrels. Sahil Kapur at NBC News reports that supposed "centrist" Republican Rep. Don Bacon won't support a clean debt ceiling increase. Bacon says Biden must "make some compromise" with Republicans, who are holding the nation's economy hostage.

Bacon reinforces the Republican talking point that Biden is some reckless madman who refuses to "compromise." McCarthy often poses before cameras as a sensible Republican leader who's just seeking "common ground" while simultaneously behaving like a thuggish gangster, exerting the powers of his office to inflict petty payback on his political enemies. It's his own one-man performance of Gaslight.


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Here's McCarthy delivering his own state of disunion speech Monday. We won't dwell on his many, many lies about the debt ceiling and how Democrats blow through money like Carrie Bradshaw at a shoe sale. It's a better use of time to discuss the many ways the sun is hot.

"We must commit to finding common ground on a responsible debt limit increase," he declared. "Finding compromise is exactly how governing in America is supposed to work, and exactly what the American people voted for just three months ago."

McCarthy pretends that Republicans have some sort of mandate, when they face-planted in every key Senate race and barely flipped the House, and the New York state voters who put them over the finish line did so because of rightwing scaremongering about violent crime. Tanking the economy wasn't on their wish list. But I guess US elections do operate under the "voters break it, they bought it" principle.

The White House won't discuss any federal spending cuts with these fools until after the debt ceiling is lifted. That's not refusing to compromise. Republicans are threatening to destroy America's full faith and credit and crash the economy in exchange for vague demands they can't even identify publicly. You shouldn't pay them in cash up front before the goods are delivered. There's also every reason to believe that many Republicans want to shoot the hostage and spend the next two years blaming Biden for the economic fallout.

Anyway, enjoy tonight's State of the Union with Rebecca on liveblog duty.

Here! Right Here! The State Of Our Union Is ... BLOGGED!


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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