Kirstjen Nielsen So Miserable Working For Trump She Just Might Tear A Mexican Family Apart!

It is a true fact that whenever Donald Trump hires somebody who seems mildly competent, within six months or so, they'll grow to hate the dumbass motherfucker squatting in the Oval so much they want to quit and go get drunk forever. They will talk behind Trump's back about how he is a fucking moron, and when they're caught doing that, they won't exactly deny it. A few months later, they'll get quit-fired, unless they are Chief of Staff John Kelly, who is still managing to hold on.

Incompetent grifters like Scott Pruitt and Ben Carson? They're happy as clams, do not worry about them!

The point is that Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen is VERY SAD and is going to quit, maybe, because apparently she just discovered that Trump is a real piece of shit.

The New York Times and the Washington Post have stories about a scene that erupted Wednesday at the White House during a meeting about immigration. The president was really mad about Mexicans, we are guessing because he saw a "Fox & Friends" report that morning called something like "Mexicans: Are They In Your Underpants?"

NYT broke the story, but as usual, WaPo is better, so let's start there:

Trump lashed out at his Cabinet, and Nielsen in particular, when told that the number of people arrested for illegally crossing the Mexico border topped 50,000 for the second consecutive month. The blowup lasted more than 30 minutes, according to a person with knowledge of what transpired, as Trump’s face reddened and he raised his voice, saying Nielsen needed to “close down” the border.

“Why don’t you have solutions? How is this still happening?” he said, adding later, “We need to shut it down. We’re closed.” [...]

Trump’s tirade went on so long that many present began fidgeting in their seats and flashing grimaces, White House aides said.

Old orange bigot ranting for 30 minutes about how America is CLOSED FOR BUSINESS, because he's a fucking moron? Being abusive to whichever woman is closest to his dirty shit-body, right in front of Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway and John Kelly and Stephen Miller and Ivanka Trump and Larry Kudlow? Yep, that sounds like the guy a solid minority of Americans voted for!

According to NYT, the biggest thing stuck up Trump's ass during the meeting, besides just the existence of racial and ethnic minorities in general, is that none of his cabinet seems as excited about breaking up immigrant families as he is. Please shed a tear for the white supremacist sadist-in-chief who feels lonely because nobody else hates as hard as he does, besides Stephen Miller, that 86-year-old Klansman trapped in the body of a 30-something Jewish guy who believes in the War On Christmas.

WaPo says Jeff Sessions -- who totallywants to destroy Mexican families! -- was on Nielsen's side, arguing quaint points about how we have to quote unquote "follow the law," but that Nielsen couldn't get a word in edgewise. Oh well, guess things suck sometimes when you make the autonomous decision to serve the Trump administration instead of serving the American people.

But don't start thinking Nielsen's morning poots came out smelling like roses in this situation. In an NPR interview that came out Thursday evening -- after this meeting -- Nielsen expressed much support for ripping children away from their mommies and daddies at the border, because isn't that what we do to reg'lar Americans who commit crimes, when we put mommies and daddies in jail? We guess she's technically correct, except for how when reg'lar American mommies and daddies commit crimes, WE DON'T RIP THEIR CHILDREN AWAY FROM THE REST OF THEIR FAMILIES, HUNDREDS OR THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM THE ONLY HOMES THEY'VE EVER KNOWN.

But perhaps we are being picky.

NYT says Nielsen has written up a resignation letter, but White House officials told both papers she probably won't resign, even though she is simply miserable in her job. So we'll just start the resignation clock ... NOW!

In conclusion, Kirstjen Nielsen is sad and we don't care, so this post is over.

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[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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