Kneeling Before Our New Orange Overlord (Day One)

News
  • All Hail John Boehner, America's newly crowned Orange Mikado! Blessings and peace be upon him, and may he bestow upon us a plentiful cigarette harvest, so that we may have cancer of the lungs and/or mouth, whatever. Yes, November really was the Teabaggers' "N word." But c'mon people, it's not like the Republicans eloped with your girlfriend and then tongue punched her fart box. (Some of us don't even have girlfriends to tongue punch.) Anyway, which Democrats/Marijuana Initiatives lost last night? Basically all of them, except for Harry Reid! At least Meg Whitman lost, so maybe Baby Jesus doesn't hate Freedom. (Maybe.) Also: No verdict yet on Murray or Bennet, but it looks like they both will squeak by with a Win. So it's not all vomit-inducing news! Here is a helpful map that lets you stay updated on Barack Obama's Massive Loss last evening. [CSM]
  • Berlusconi's People of Liberty party is the most popular political party in Italy, even though Silvio is probably railing some seventeen-year-old girl, again. (Or maybe because he is railing this little girl?) We simply do not understand Italy. [Business Week]


  • Russia canceled a fun missile deal with Iran. Ahmadinejad no likey! [Haaretz]

For people who can't read, here is a short photo essay we made about What Happened Last Night And Why:

The End.

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