LADIES! Are You Ready To Dress To Impress Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn?
Hey ladies! Are you always wondering what to wear in order to be all professional-like and whatnot? You know, for business thingities? Like, should you wear lipstick, should you wear heels, should you wear a lampshade on your head? It is often so hard to know!
Thankfully, we have found a helpful resource to help you in planning your business attire: a presentation that went around the Defense Intelligence Agency back in 2013, back when it was led by Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn!
For instance, ladies, did you know that makeup can make you look more attractive? And that you should not advocate the "Plain Jane" look, whatever on earth that means?
Now, not to pat myself on the back here, but I am really good at makeup! I am! And as someone who is really good at makeup, I have to say that I am reasonably sure that at no point in my life has anyone looked at my makeup and thought to themselves "Wow! Way to not wear magenta eyeshadow with a red lip! That is very coordinated! You sure look like a lady who is moving assertively to identified goals!" I do not think that's even a thing!
The incredibly sexist memo also nicely reminded ladies to consider their "body type" when dressing, which I am reasonably sure is code for "Hey ladies that are fat, please remember that you are a fat person when getting dressed! We know you forget sometimes, because it's not like we live in a society that consistently reminds you or anything!"
It's pretty gross to think of any part of any person's body as "the negative." Who gets to decide what "the negative" is? Hmm? Is there a committee of some kind?
There is also this bit, which I am incredibly curious about.
SERIOUSLY WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Is this a thing where you get a certain amount of "points" for each of those things and if you go over or under a certain amount of points you are underdressed or overdressed? And how is someone's hair color contributing to them being either of those things? I do not understand.
At the time, it was a bit of a scandal, and Lt. Gen. Flynn responded to it by saying that “Neither the agency nor I condone this briefing and I only hope the intention to execute this task was pure of heart and intended to help […] But even smart people do dumb things sometimes.”
However! Um, this kind of thing wouldn't really get "circulated" in an workplace where it wouldn't be condoned. People generally know what they can and cannot get away with!
To read the whole delightful thing, click here. And then go "coordinate your makeup" and throw out all your scarves, if you are a blonde person or a ginger. I guess.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse