Lara Trump Doin' Propaganda Shit For The Facebooks, Totally Normal-ish!
Trust me! I'm Eric's wife. Never leave the bubble!
Lara Trump, who's married to Donald Trump's son Eric, is the latest member of the Trump family to take a role in House Trump's enterprise of propping up the president. She appeared Sunday in a Facebook video with the enticing heading "Want to know what President Trump did this week? Watch here for REAL news!" Wow, sure would be nice to hear the Trump perspective for a change, since we have so few chances to know what Trump thinks he thinks. It looks to be the beginning of a regular series, although as Buzzfeed notes, the White House wouldn't say whether this means Lara Trump "should be considered part of the president's communications team." Maybe she'll just drop by a studio in the White House or Trump Tower now and then for a chat -- a chat with the American People, whom her father in law loves so very much! Let's see what she has to say!
I bet you haven't heard about all the accomplishments the president had this week because there's so much fake news out there. We wanted to give you a glimpse into his week.
Oh, golly, what was Donald J. Trump's week like last week? We seem to remember there were one or two minor rough spots, like the failure of "his" healthcare plan that he was dimly aware of, and wasn't there something about his communications director? Or that thing where he announced that trans people would be banned from the military, and the military said "Nah, not doing anything until its official."
So what was the Trump-Approved highlight of the president's week? He donated his paycheck to the Department of Education, which is nice, and also which he can now deduct instead of paying tax on. And that $100,000 donation will offset the $10.6 billion cuts his budget wants for the Education Department. Chirps Lara, "This is a president who's putting America before himself. I'm so proud of that!"
Nope, nothing creepy or North-Korea-ish about that, huh? We also learn that unemployment is down and the stock market is up, also JOBS!!!! If only the lamestream media reported on economic news, but they don't. In fact, there's nothing in Lara's HappyFace recitation that didn't get reported in newspapers or on TV, but unfortunately, those other sources insist on including all sorts of fake news, too, like about the revolving door for White House staff or the president's complete ignorance of policy. But the Veep went to Walter Reed Hospital to meet wounded veterans, which is certainly an unprecedentedly brave thing that you never heard of other presidents doing.
Also, is it just us, or shouldn't a woman who's worked in TV as much as Lara Trump -- she's been a producer for "Inside Edition" -- be able to get through a three-minute newsblip without multiple takes? The blackouts between very brief items in this thing are disconcerting, but you go with the talent you have. Pity the segments are prepared in advance and carefully edited before going up on Facebook -- we'd love to see a stream where Lara loses it and shouts "Fuck it! We'll do it LIVE!"
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.