Larry Klayman Calls For March On White House To Arrest President, Also Demands Baseball Get Rid Of DH Because Why Not


People, we hope you all have November 19 marked down on your calendars, becausethat is the day Friend of Wonkette and sickly Ed Begley Jr. impersonator Larry Klayman, accompanied by an army of feral poop munchkins, will bring the mother of all smackdowns onto the privileged head of King Barack Ayers Alinsky Hussein Nobummer. A smackdown of … justice!

You may recall last week, when Klayman began laying the groundwork for his One Million Imbeciles March by telling the world he would announce a date to show up at the White House and scream fruitlessly at it from the sidewalk his demand that Obama immediately surrender himself for incarceration, just as soon as a “citizens’ jury” returned an indictment against the president on charges of “eligibility fraud” (translation: BIRF SERTIFIKIT!!). Now lo and behold, that glorious day has arrived. Next stop: the history books!

It is a short indictment, announcing that “Defendant Obama” waived his right to a jury trial by failing to appear in any way by September 13, 2013. Klayman then tried Obama in absentia in front of a “citizens’ court judge” who found the president guilty on two counts of fraud against federal and state of Florida officials. Of course no reporters seem to have covered this momentous occasion, probably because none of them cared enough to find the Ocala Applebee’s where Klayman and his fellow truth-seekers commandeered a table to hold the trial, but more likely because everyone knows the media has always been in the tank for Obama.

Anyway, two counts of fraud, sentenced to five years’ imprisonment for each count, the Defendant shall forthwith surrender himself to the people blah blah justice something something. And now:

On November 19, 2013, a day that will hopefully live on in the history of our once great republic, I call upon millions of Americans who have been appalled and disgusted by Obama's criminality – his Muslim, socialist, anti-Semitic, anti-Christian, anti-white, pro-illegal immigrant, pro-radical gay and lesbian agenda – among other outrages, to descend on Washington, D.C., en masse, and demand that he leave town and resign from office if he does not want to face prison time.


In addition, I propose bringing the victims of his reign of terror to a podium across from the White House in Lafayette Park to give their testimony on how he has singularly severely harmed and in some instances even killed their loved ones through his actions.

Crazy people standing on podiums in Lafayette Park and spewing incoherent nonsense about presidential shenanigans and government oppression and the impending death of the Republic. Or as everyone in D.C. will call it, “Tuesday.”

Of course, Obama will not willingly obey the law of the people. He will attempt to hide behind the iron fences of the White House, perhaps cowering under his desk for fear that the people will rise up and demand his ouster.

Or maybe he’s just under his desk because he laughed so hysterically he fell out of his chair. Silver lining: it will be a lot harder for him to put his feet on his desk when he’s having a giggling fit under it.

Oh Larry Klayman, you are truly an inspiration to anyone who keeps forgetting to refill his Haldol prescription.

[Renew America / Citizens Grand Jury]

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Some of our favorite people to follow on Twitter are the wonderful folks who watch Fox News every night and tweet screenshots and videos, so that we never ever EVER have to watch it. (They all work for Media Matters, so presumably they are being forced to do this by David Brock.)

We had a feeling after Pete Buttigieg did that Fox News town hall, and after we watched the MENSA trust at "Fox & Friends" just lose it all morning about Buttigieg's open criticism of Fox News on Fox News, that the evening hosts would really deliver on Monday night, and boy was our feeling correct.

Let's go to the tape, provided by Media Matters deputy director of rapid response Andrew Lawrence.

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Today it was announced that Dress Barn would be closing all 650 of its stores and its business in general. This has been happening a lot lately, as people have begun to do most of their shopping online rather than in stores. Shopko, a department store chain, recently announced it would be closing all of its stores as well.

Then there's the mall store Charlotte Russe, which closed all of its stores in March. I actually worked there in high school, and at Contempo Casuals, which later became Wet Seal, and which closed all of its stores last January (though it's still online). Many other "mall stores" are also either closing entirely or closing a huge chunk of their stores.

Dress Barn was a terrible and oddly insulting-sounding name for a store. The fact that it survived for as long as it did with marketing that bad actually speaks very well for the store itself. If it were not doing an incredibly good job providing many women with what they wanted, clothing-wise, I do not think they would have survived this long. While I can't speak to that personally, since the last time I lived in an area that had one I was 14 years old (though I did get a very nice purple crushed velvet baby-doll dress there for my grandparent's anniversary when I was in 8th grade), a lot of people today are talking about how much they appreciated that they could get nice work clothes there for a reasonable price -- and also in a wide range of sizes. That's awesome. There should be more of that, not less.

But the real problem isn't just people losing a store they like. It's the fact that all of the people working at those 650 stores no longer have jobs–about 6,800 people in total. (And 18,000 employees are losing their jobs at Shopko, which often served towns of 3,000 to 5,000 people, too small for any other store where you could buy, say, socks and a toaster.) And the way things are going, it's going to be pretty hard for them to find jobs in the same line of work. The vast majority of these people, also, are women.

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