Did the Illuminati get to the police?

In a gift to conspiracy theorists everywhere, police in Las Vegas have revised their timeline of last week's mass shooting on the Strip, saying that instead of the shooter firing some 200 rounds into a hallway of the Mandalay Bay hotel and injuring a security guard after he'd stopped firing at a crowded country music concert across Las Vegas Boulevard, he'd actually shot the security guard six minutes before he began shooting at the crowd. Police also said the shooter had been staying longer at the hotel than they'd thought, having checked in on September 25, not September 28 as police had initially said.

None of this changes the horror of Stephen Paddock's having killed 58 people (in addition to himself) and injured hundreds more, and it won't affect the renewed (and probably futile) attempts to bring some sense to gun laws. But it should provide a field day for conspiracy-mongering loonies who insist the official story can't be trusted because the Deep State and the Bavarian Illuminati actually staged the whole thing as an excuse to take away American's guns -- or at least their cool "bump stock" toys -- just like every other mass shooting was faked to take away all the guns that are never, ever taken away.

In a timeline given last week, investigators had said the shooter had begun firing at the music festival at 10:05 PM local time, and stopped at 10:15 PM. Clark County Sheriff Joe Lombardo said last week that Mandalay Bay security guard Jesus Campos had interrupted the shooting when he was spotted by Paddock in one of the several video cameras he had rigged to view hallways on the 32nd floor, after which Paddock shot through the door of his room and injured Campos at about 10:15. Las Vegas police arrived on the floor and then began evacuating guests; since no more shots were coming from the suite, they took their time to make sure everyone was out before breaking down what was left of the door to Paddock's suite and entering at 11:20. Paddock had shot himself at some point before police entered the room.

Yesterday, however, Lombardo said that Paddock had actually shot and injured Campos at 9:59 PM, about six minutes before the mass shooting began, and police don't know why Paddock stopped shooting at 10:15. In the inimitable syntax of a cop giving a briefing, Lombardo said during Monday's news conference that "Mr. Campos was encountered by the suspect prior to his shooting to the outside world." Campos, it turns out, hadn't come upon Paddock's room because of the sound of gunfire, but had actually been investigating an alarm that had been set off in another room on the same floor when a door was left open. Las Vegas police who arrived to begin searching the hotel shortly after the shooting started didn't even know that a security guard had been injured until they met Campos on the 32nd floor at 10:18. Lombardo didn't say whether Campos had told the hotel security department he'd been injured before he was found by the arriving police.

The revised timeline looks like a serious investigative screwup, since presumably the Las Vegas Police had talked to Campos sometime before this weekend, and it seems pretty late in the game to have just figured out that he'd been shot before the massacre began. Same with the date of Paddock's check-in: Does the hotel keep really crappy records? Seems unlikely, so how did investigators miss three whole days of his stay?

Also, credit where it's due, even if it's one of those stopped-clock things. Conspiracy aficionado Laura Loomer, who has claimed that Paddock was a far-left antifa sympathizer with links to ISIS and the Deep State, that the CEO of MGM resorts (which owns the Mandalay Bay) was somehow involved in the plot -- as was the MGM Resorts' union -- and who also insists that "FBI" stands for "Federal Bureau of Islam," actually does appear to have found one real fact about the timeline. Loomer says she has valet and room service records indicating that Paddock had indeed checked into the Mandalay Bay on September 25, three days before the earlier timeline had him there. And she's been saying it for close to a damn week.

Of course, that doesn't mean any of Loomer's other wild claims have a bit of credibility -- like her contention that MGM employee contributions were used to fund terrorism!!! But you do have to wonder about the competence of the Las Vegas authorities' investigation when someone more full of horseshit than Twilight Sparkle on a rolled-oats bender actually has better information on one part of the timelines than the cops. It's just embarrassing. The file showing when Paddock checked in -- was it not IN the COMPUTER?

No doubt those six minutes between Campos getting shot and the beginning of the shooting from the hotel windows is when the ISIS/ Hillary Clinton/ Bilderberg Group death squad overpowered Paddock, killed him, and carried out the shooting, after which they used the three minutes before police reached the floor to vanish, like Ninjas. Fake News troll (but also AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST) Chuck C. Johnson was pushing a fact-free claim that Campos was Paddock's co-conspirator well before the new timeline; now he's been reading Loomer's tweets and is going with "FBI Cover-Up."

Also, there were more details announced yesterday that are sure to excite the conspiracy-minded:

The sheriff also revealed that Paddock had started drilling a hole next to the door of his suite, but the drilling apparently was not completed, and officials weren’t sure what the hole was for.

Lombardo said investigators had found “some evidence of medications” used by Paddock but declined to give any more information.

A boring ol' mommyblogger might say Paddock was going to stick a camera through the hole, but then decided it would be easier to attach it to the peephole in the suite's door, but that's hardly exciting at all. It probably had some kind of occult Illuminati significance, just like the floor number of the hotel:

And the "evidence of medications"? More proof that we need to stop Prozac before it kills again, obviously, as Michele Fiore -- then a member of the Nevada Assembly, now merely a member of the Las Vegas City Council (and surprisingly silent on this horror) -- explained just had to be the reason for the mass shooting at Umpqua Community College on October 1, 2015. Which was two years to the day before the Las Vegas massacre. Great Jumpin' Osiris -- you know what this means? Antidepressants study numerology, and that's how they KILL!

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please CLICK HERE to help us out. If you're really paranoid, we may already be taking money from under your mattress.

[LAT / Snopes]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc