Yet another heroic whistleblower has bravely come forward with a dramatic tale of massive election fraud that conclusively proves the election was rigged! At a press conference Tuesday, the rightwing Thomas More Society, which usually crusades to ban abortion and get public school funds for religious schools, presented a truck driver named Jesse Morgan, who said he drove a truckload of what he now believes were bogus absentee ballots from New York to Pennsylvania just before Election Day. How does he know they were fraudulent ballots? He just knows, OK?

"I know I saw ballots with return addresses filled out," said Morgan, who claims to work for a Postal Service contractor. "Thousands of them, thousands." [...]

And, soon enough, his claims were being amplified by the president, his legal team, conservative groups unaffiliated with the campaign, and Trump supporters themselves all of whom have argued that nearly 300,000 bogus mail-in ballots were used in Pennsylvania, Morgan's home state, to put Joe Biden over the top.

We first heard about it from our go-to source for highly reliable incomprehensible screaming, Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft, who was aghast at Morgan's "unbelievable ordeal" and his "explosive testimony."

Morgan's unproven assertion of being unwittingly roped into a scheme to rig the 2020 election (but only for Joe Biden, not for control of the Senate) turns out not to be his only unbelievable ordeal, either, as the Daily Beast's Will Sommer explains. Before becoming a darling of wingnut media, you see, Morgan made a small name for himself as a ghost hunter, claiming his family was plagued by scary ghosts — ghosts who even managed to scare his family in several different states. Who knows? Maybe the ghosts did the fraudy ballots!


In his first bid for YouTube fame, in 2016, Morgan posted a video titled "Shadow person caught on camera," saying he'd heard weird noises in his basement. He even caught a glimpse of a "shadow person" on camera!

"I will not raise my daughters in a place that is haunted," Morgan declares in the video. [...]

[Morgan] descended down the stairs. But as he walked down, he saw a "shadow person," who looked suspiciously similar to a normal human wearing a black morphsuit, peeking at him from the stairs. Morgan's camera suddenly tilted, and the supposed ghost disappeared.

Bummer how paranormal investigators are always so scared that they drop their cameras!

In a second video, "Follow up to shadow person," Morgan said he'd moved out of that terrible haunted house and moved to a new home in York, Pennsylvania, but wouldn't you know it, that place was also chock full o' malevolent ghosties! In that thrilling sequel,

In that shaky, dimly filmed video, [...] Morgan narrated his concerns about paranormal infestations while a knick-knack moved suspiciously on a shelf behind him and a picture flew off the shelf.

Sommer dutifully notes that it's "unclear what caused the latter two signs of shadow people," which we're sure can't possibly have involved fishing line or anything, because why would anyone just make such shit up? The videos managed to get enough attention that Morgan was invited to appear on a Travel Channel show, where he explained he didn't think the shadow person from the first video had followed him. Apparently he just has a knack for moving into haunted houses. Shadow people are everywhere! He also said, "I haven't seen the shadow guy since then."

But if the shadow people were done with Morgan, he wasn't done with them!

Morgan and his three brothers, who also claim to have been haunted, eventually made a low-budget documentary about their brushes with ghosts and shadow-men. A fundraising pitch for The Shadows Amongst Us describes the Morgans as a "family haunted by paranormal events despite living in different parts of the country." [...]

At the end of the movie, Morgan offered some practical advice about fighting off the shadow spirits.

"It lives off your emotion, it lives off of stress, it lives off of dysfunction," Morgan said. "So don't be scared, don't be afraid. As crazy and stupid as it may sound, walk around your house and say 'In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to leave.' It's helped me out 1,000 times, to tell you the truth."

Spoiler: No, we decided not to blow $2.99 to view it. But people who rated it on Amazon didn't care for it; it has a whopping 2.1 star rating (out of five) and one reviewer said it was like "listening to your most boring coworker drone on and on."

But if you want to see Morgan's spooky and 100 percent true videos, the online rental is the only place you still can, because after Tuesday's presser, Morgan deleted them from his YouTube account, and also used a copyright claim to make YouTube take down a copy that somebody had posted (don't worry, there are plenty of other "shadow people" vids on YouTube, because apparently those darn ghosts are everywhere).

Sommer notes that Morgan's tale of hauling around fraudy ballots seems similarly spectral, all story and no documentation. A USPS employee was rude to him, and other "weird" things happened, all of which convinced him he'd been duped into a scheme to subvert the election.

Much of Morgan's speech centered on the fact that he couldn't find his preferred trailer at work a day after the supposed voter fraud, with the implication that Morgan's trailer had been stolen for nefarious purposes.

"I liked that trailer," Morgan said. "It was a nice trailer."

Was there a police report of the disappeared trailer? Not that we've seen any mention of, though we haven't done any digging, because we have better things to do, like watch anime. (Check out "Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai," which despite the goofy title is just astonishingly sweet and smart.)

The Gateway Pundit write-up of the presser also includes the terrifying detail that a USPS "transportation supervisor" wouldn't even give Morgan a written slip for the load of ballots — no doubt as part of the cover-up! — so sorry, no receipts. What's more, the Thomas More Society says Morgan "has since been monitored by those who perpetrated the crime," though of course we don't have any proof of that, either. More shadow people!

Oh yes, and there's always more. Sommer notes Tuesday's presser was organized by former Kansas Attorney General Phill Kline, "who was suspended indefinitely from practicing law in 2013 over allegations of perjury and misleading officials." We even wrote about that here at Wonkette!

Kline said that Morgan readily "revealed to me that he had been a drug addict, that he'd been arrested, that he served some time," but you see, his willingness to own up to it just shows he's an honest guy who admits he's not perfect. Sommer did a bit more digging, and found Morgan really is no stranger to stuff that might make him a less than ideal truth teller:

Pennsylvania court records show that Morgan has been arrested multiple times. In the most serious case, Morgan faced a raft of charges in 2005 that included forgery, theft, and receiving stolen property. Morgan eventually pleaded guilty to the forgery charge and was sentenced to more than six months in prison.

Sommer also points out that while Kline said he revealed Morgan's history to preempt journalists from attacking his credibility as a whistleblower, "neither Kline nor Morgan revealed his position as a prominent believer in ghost-stalking."

Well sure they didn't mention that. They probably couldn't, because maybe they were hexed.

Nonetheless, Morgan's entirely believable story will no doubt be enshrined in wingnut memory as an absolutely true story, even though there's not a shred of evidence. And the shadow people will continue to do massive voter fraud, because so far nobody's found any proof of actual living humans doing it.

[Daily Beast]

Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations! If you can, please sign up to donate $5 to $10 a month so we can document the ghosts who keep making our bourbon disappear.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc