Laura Ingraham Demands Trump Explain How He Got So Great
Donald Trump sat down for an interview with Laura Ingraham on Fox News Monday night so he could explain just how badly he's being treated by the media in reports on mailbombs sent to former Democratic presidents by a fanatical Trump supporter and the massacre of 11 Jews, which couldn't have anything to do with Trump because did you even know that Jared and Ivanka are Jewish? Along the way, Trump lied a whole lot and at least one veteran fact-checker begged, "make it stop."
Masochists among you can watch the whole wretched mess below, although why you'd do that is beyond us.
Ingraham led into the interview with a complaint that mean old liberals have been trying to "neutralize the GOP's most effective campaigner" with the crazy notion that Trump was somehow connected to the Pittsburgh shootings, which is absurd, because Jarvanka is Jewish. She didn't quite mention that the shooter was motivated by the fake conspiracy story that George Soros is funding a caravan of asylum seekers who will all come to the USA and make anchor babies the moment they cross the border, a conspiracy Donald Trump has promoted. Why would she?
Once the interview started, Ingraham got right to the point, asking Trump what his plans were for traveling to Pittsburgh today; he explained he just wanted to "pay his respects" and "see the officers and some of the people that were so badly hurt." So get ready for more bizarre photos of Trump grinning like an idiot and giving a big thumbs-up with doctors, because that's how a real man responds to a massacre.
Then she asked about how the mean old media have attacked Trump's tone, and he explained he HAD TO have a political rally Saturday following the shooting, because otherwise the terrorists win! Also, it's important to have fun, isn't it?
Once you start doing that, once you cancel -- so you're doing a rally and rallies are meant to be fun. Rallies are meant to be everything and I said, "Tone it done," and then you saw the group saying, "No, don't tone it down, don't tone it down." So we had a great rally in Illinois, for some great people and frankly, I think that's probably the way it should be.
You should go about your life. You can't let these people disrupt anymore than they already have, which is disgraceful; what he did is disgraceful. You can't let it happen.
OK, but what about how you've started calling yourself a "nationalist" -- is that some kind of dog whistle like "the left" says it is? Trump shunted aside 14 loudly-barking Great Danes that had somehow made it onto the set and said the phrase was self-evident, because in political science terms, there are only two possible ways to think about the world:
I don't have to clarify. It means I love the country, it means I'm fighting for the country. I look at two things, globalists and nationalists. I'm somebody that wants to take care of our country, because for many, many years, you know this better than anybody -- our leaders have been more worried about the world than they have about the United States and they leave us in a mess -- whether it's the wars, whether it's the economy, whether it's debt, whether it's all of the things that they've done, including putting in the wrong Supreme Court Justices and we're -- we've really put two great ones in -- no, I'm proud of this country and I call that "nationalism"; I call it being a nationalist and I don't see any other connotation than that.
You see? Every other president sold us down the river to the globalists, and he's just fixing that. Only a politically correct ninny would find anything objectionable to that. And frankly, we're certainly willing to believe Trump is genuinely unable to notice why "globalist" is an anti-Semitic term in the first place, because he's an idiot. He doesn't need to think about it; all he knows is that his people applaud.
Besides, Ingraham continued, how can Trump be an anti-Semite because Jared and Ivanka? SO TRUE! Added Trump, and also he moved the embassy to Jerusalem to make fundamentalist Christians and Netanyahu happy. So happy that Bibi gave him "the most beautiful plaque." It's a major award!
As for the murders in Pittsburgh, you are not allowed to suggest they had anything to do with the very conspiracy theory Trump promoted, because "this terrible person that did the shooting, he was not a Donald Trump fan, because he said I was too close to Israel," and also Trump would like to show that plaque to Laura Ingraham later, it's really a beaut.
Then it was on to Trump's attacks on the media, and the Great Man once again explained he only means the fake news is the enemy of the people, which is all the news that ever criticizes him. Ingraham commiserated with the most powerful man in the word, noting, "They're never going to be fair to you," and Trump complained yet again that nobody had given him credit for avoiding the war with North Korea that Hillary Clinton surely would have gotten us into.
As for the mail bomber being a huge Trump fan, Trump didn't see why anyone would care, because "look -- he was insane a long time before -- you look at his medical records -- he was insane for a long time," and just look how unfair it all is, because other presidents and politicians never got blamed for terrible things done by other people (except of course when rightwing media did exactly that):
I was in the headline of the Washington Post, my name associated with this crazy bomber. Trump bomber or something. But I was in the headline… when they got him. They didn't say -- bomber found -- they talked about Trump in the headline. Now they didn't do that with Bernie Sanders when he had -- they didn't do that with the Democrats when other people came at -- they didn't do that with President Obama with the church, the horrible situation with the church -- they didn't do that. They put my name in the headlines. It's -- when I say "enemy of the people" I'm talking about the fake news and it is fake.
Yes, it is true: Most people didn't blame Barack Obama for Charleston because he never promoted the beliefs of the white supremacist who believed black criminality against whites was an epidemic. (But it's a lie Donald Trump actually retweeted, isn't that a fun bit of trivia?) But plenty of rightwing sources were happy to hold Obama responsible for Charleston, because he was the most racially divisive president ever, as you may recall.
Then it was time for The Caravan! Ingraham noted that Barack Obama has also been doing campaign rallies, to which Trump asked, "How are his crowds?" HA HA, and then played a clip of Barry saying, LIKE FOX'S SHEP SMITH, that no, migrants aren't coming to get you. So how about Obama's charge that Trump is merely "fearmongering," huh?
Trump, in the sort of elegant phrasing we've come to expect, answered, "Well he's trying to do the opposite." You know, calm-mongering or something. Shame on him. But these migrants 900 miles from the border and not getting here for a long time, we HAVE to panic about them, because they are young, virile, and strong like bull!
[When] you look at that caravan and you look at largely, very, you know, big percentage of men, young, strong -- a lot of bad people, a lot of bad people in there. People that are in gangs -- we don't want them in this country.
Trump also made up a brand new policy by pulling it completely out of his ass, promising that once whatever remnants of the caravan arrive at the border, they will not get a roof over their heads, even if they're seeking asylum, which they don't deserve anyway.
We're going to put up -- we're going to build tent cities. We're going to put tents up all over the place; we're not going to build structures and spend all of this, you know, hundreds of millions of dollars -- we're going to have tents; they're going to be very nice and they're going to wait and if they don't get asylum, they get out.
So now yet another Trump Priority will be the building of a whole bunch of tent cities to hold the people from the caravan, so he won't be a liar.
Just as soon as he gets that 10 percent middle-class tax cut passed before the election, you bet.
When the going gets weird, Yr Wonkette has prose! Send us money to help you navigate the bullshit!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.