Laura Ingraham Making Neat Free Commercials For Democrats, Share With Everyone You've Ever Met!

Oh no, Laura Ingraham, what will Democrats do if they're allowed to run roughshod over the USA with all their terribleness?

Wait, what?

INGRAHAM: This is what they're going to give you more of if you elect them: Abortion, pot, porn and more January 6 hearings.

Because you're not a fuckin' loser 80-year-old white supremacist who watches Laura until you fall asleep in a puddle of drool and regret each night, you might not understand that she meant that as a threat.

We, however, are just wondering if she had official permission from President Let's Go Brandon "Joe Biden" Captain America The Malarkey Slayer to make such amazing promises.

Abortion? Yes, we'll take some, and so will America!


Porn? OK, do we get to pick our porn or is this socialism and your daily allotment of porn just shows up each morning and you get the exact same porn as your neighbor? Oh no, will this be like Soviet Russia with the bread lines, except for they are PORN LINES? Sorry, but we have questions about this one.

Ooh! Do we get to choose the mailman who brings it? That could be sexxxy.

January 6 hearings? Those are must-see TV and everybody loves them! We bet if Dems keep the House they'll bring Liz Cheney back for special guest appearances to twist Republicans' nutsacks while they continue to expose the terrorist attack Donald Trump caused on January 6 in an effort to overthrow the American government.

Here's Ingraham with another free ad, talking about how first Oregon decriminalized marijuana and now Joe Biden is doing awesome things with marijuana and before you know it we'll be on a slippery slope to something, we dunno, she's just trying to scare dumbass white people who will probably die of choking on osteoporosis pills within a decade.

She should have just said decriminalizing marijuana leads to "taco truck on every corner." Because A) that will jam her hateful stupid racist viewers' angry prostates just the same as whatever other fearmongering she is doing and B) FUCK YEAH TACO TRUCKS!

Sean Hannity did a free ad too, it is called "Hail Mary Jane."

Thank you, Sean Hannity, your complimentary Let's Go Brandon matching dildo and bong are in the mail!

Tucker didn't do a free ad. Tucker had a date with Kanye West and they talked about Anna Wintour. Tucker is not a team player. Tucker sucks.

It's awesome how out of touch with normal people every single Fox News host is. It's amazing how they don't understand that most regular people under ... 64 or so? ... either smoke pot themselves or know 2,500 people who do. How white collar professionals smoke pot, or eat gummies or use a vape or whatever else, just like blue collar workers and students and just literally everybody. How if you actually give a shit whether somebody smokes pot, you are as irrelevant as a person who gives a shit if somebody is gay.

Get a life, you absolute losers.

Thanks for the free ads, though, gonna make sure all the people who say "What have Democrats ever done for me?" hear the good news that the Democrats are seriously in the fight for legalized pot and abortion and January 6 hearings and a PORNO TRUCK ON EVERY CORNER.

Next to the taco truck, we guess.

Or something, we really are going to need to see this Democratic Porn Back Better proposal before we decide if we can support it.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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