Laura Ingraham Joins Other Conservatives In Grifting The Socks Off Their Supporters
Laura Ingraham, one of the worst people alive, is charging suckers for a podcast that doesn't exist. I'd also pay to never hear Ingraham's voice, but her podcast subscribers for some reason expected more for their money. The Fox News host quit her daily radio show last year so she could spend more time being racist with her family. Ingraham could presumably record her podcast at home in her comfy slippers and white hood. She tried it for a while, like a human soul, but after a few months she tired of the podcast. The last one, featuring Newt Gingrich lying about impeachment, came out September 30.
Ingraham's official website still sells advertising and $49.95 annual subscriptions for "The Laura Ingraham Podcast." The subscriptions are auto-renewable, which offers her listeners the convenience of regularly charging their credit cards until the end of time. "A source close" to Ingraham told The Daily Beast in October that the show would return. It is now December and Ingraham is too busy preparing to rob all the homes in Whoville to bother. It's not even mentioned anymore on her Twitter bio, which has resulted in desperate followers directly asking Maleficent's meaner sorority sister what's up.
Conservatives are funny. If this were a government program, they'd show a lot less patience. They spent most of Thanksgiving complaining about Medicare and the Portland Arts Tax, but they won't accept that Ingraham sold them some overpriced band equipment and skipped town. Of course, Ingraham's not an imaginary woman of color living like the Queen on the white taxpayer's dime. She's a white woman ripping off stupid white people. That's not welfare. That's white-on-white capitalism.
Laura Ingraham: "Open borders, welfare state, public schools that teach kids, in some cases, to really hate the Ame… https://t.co/xv42SOD5y0— Contemptor (@Contemptor)1550029627.0
Ingraham's not the only Republican who has perfected the art of the grift. We came up with the following examples in about .23 seconds, and didn't even try to begin to uncover the high-art grifters at the NRA. Still, here are a few.
Donald Trump Jr.'s complaint-by-numbers book, Triggered, landed on the New York Times bestseller list thanks to the Republican National Committee spending almost $100,000 to help Junior feel better about himself. The expenditure was listed as "donor mementos" in an FEC filing. This is grossly unethical. The president's son shouldn't profit from his office and even Republican donors deserve better than Junior's book as a zonk prize.
Former Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke resigned last year after a mostly disgraceful tenure. He tried to spend $139,000 on an office door (granted, it locked and everything). He also blew $53,000 on "unnecessary" helicopter trips, including one so he could take a romantic horseback ride with Mike Pence. Like Ingraham and Trump Jr., he also couldn't resist screwing over other conservatives, as well. This year, four PACs with connections to Zinke raised more than $2.6 million, the majority of which came from small donors. They spent $1.7 million of those funds at a handful of "swamp-like" DC vendors with the same addresses and staff. There's no evidence the PACs contributed anything of value to Republican candidates.
Mike Huckabee on his diabetes infomercial: 'I don't have to defend everything I've done' www.youtube.com
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who shares responsibility for the creation of Sarah Huckabee Sanders, appeared in informercials selling 21st Century snake oil to his gullible supporters. He suggested there was a "kitchen cabinet" cure for diabetes that combined cinnamon and chromium picolinate. (Unfortunately, my spice cabinet usually only has chromium picolinate, which is why my pumpkin pies never come out right.) Loyal Huckafans who signed up for
anti-gay tirades "political commentary" also received ads in their inbox that claimed God hid "miracle cures" for cancer in the Bible. Huckabee distanced himself from most of this nonsense prior to his second failed presidential run in 2016. He assumed Americans would never vote for a sketchy con artist who went around making absurd, easily disproven statements.
You really hate to see conservatives pulling fast ones on their faithful followers. I mean, you probably do. I think they had it comin'.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).