It seems like the general election is really kicking into gear this week. Donald Trump isn't committing to accept the results of the election (we guess he's not confident how well Russia's interference will work this time, or if China will even try to help), and Joe Biden is saying in no uncertain terms that if Trump doesn't remove himself, he will be removed as a trespasser. Nancy Pelosi says if Trump has to be "fumigated" out of the White House, turn the sprayer on. (We assume Terminix will be involved. Or maybe an enormous glue trap.)

Biden knows the new president is president at noon on inauguration day, no matter what, but all this talk about how Donald Trump won't even be allowed to try to do coups and stay in the White House for life, even if he loses in a 400-electoral-vote landslide and starts whining #RIGGED, well, it's bothering the idiots over on Laura Ingraham's White Power Hour.

Ingraham and guest Fox Nation host Lara Logan bellyached together:

LARA LOGAN: [O]ne of the disturbing things here that people have raised with me is all the talk about Trump is not going to leave office and Trump won't hand over the nuclear codes. What are they setting the conditions for, exactly? If there is any dispute over mail-in ballots or voter fraud or any of those states or giving all their votes to the popular vote winners nationwide and not given their Electoral College votes —


LOGAN: — as they traditionally have been given.

INGRAHAM: Yes. Got to go.

LOGAN: If there's any dispute over that, are they going to say, yes, you see there, we told you he wasn't going to leave office?

Right. If Trump and his stinky Roy Cohn/Goebbels hybrid over at the Department of Justice start bitching about bullshit nonexistent voter fraud or fraudulent mail-in ballots, it will be a sign Trump is refusing to relinquish power. And no, the American people will not put up with it.

INGRAHAM: They're going to short-circuit it. They don't want anyone to question them, Lara.

We didn't get to question it when Vladimir Putin and James Comey installed Trump in office either. And we're definitely not going to let Trump "question" it with bullshit claims of voter fraud, a problem that literally doesn't exist.

As far as whatever pipe Logan is smoking about states giving all their electoral votes to the popular vote winner, we are not sure which states she thinks are going to do that. There is a National Popular Vote compact, which has been enacted by 15 states and the District of Columbia, which says once states worth 270 electoral votes sign on to the agreement, they'll award all their electoral votes to the popular vote winner. Right now we're at 196, so that's not happening yet.

INGRAHAM: You're exactly right. It's going to be any irregularities, no, you're questioning the results of an election, you got to get out, and we hope the military will help throw him out of the White House. That's exactly what they're setting up.

Yes, we hate how they're "setting up" a situation where, once the Electoral College casts its votes and the election is certified, and once Joe Biden becomes president — God willing — on January 20, then "the military will help throw [Trump] out of the White House." That is just a very terrible thing they are "setting up," where Trump can't even stay in the White House whining into his dirty diapers about how everything was #RIGGED against him. How dare the new American president Joe Biden have the trespasser removed!

Look, we know things are rough right now for people who love Trump. Unless Russia and/or vote-suppressing Republican governors really outdo themselves, Trump is heading for a humiliating loss, if polls stick where they are right now. (They're likely to get worse for Trump, because of how his administration is STILL killing thousands of Americans with its abdication of leadership through the coronavirus pandemic.) Trump is down as much as 15 points nationally, and Biden has commanding leads in swing states. Indeed, the only result that could be legitimately questioned would be if Trump yet again managed to lose the popular vote by millions and squeak out yet another absolute bullshit "win" in the Electoral College.

For folks like Ingraham, who like all white racists probably believes there is a silent majority of white racists who agrees with her, it's likely to be absolutely humiliating. People who convinced themselves, like Trump did, that his "win" actually was historic, their bubbles are going to burst, quickly and painfully. If the American people are allowed to speak in November, Trump people should probably refrain from operating heavy machinery for their own safety for a while, they'll be so disoriented.

In 2016, after Hillary Clinton's "loss," Democrats grasped at straws, grieving what had happened and what was to come. It's telling that Laura Ingraham and Lara Logan are already starting that process now, 105 days out from the election.

But yeah, if El Shithole loses like he's probably going to in November, and if he refuses to leave, then President Biden will remove him. If he deems the military necessary, that'll be up to him, but we imagine a trail of Big Macs leading out into the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue would do the job just as easily, and Big Macs are only $3.99 and Pennsylvania Avenue is right in front of the White House so that'd be a much more Fiscal Responsibility way to do it.

This post was originally about Laura Ingraham but now we're doing math to see how many Big Macs you'd have to place between the White House and Pennsylvania Avenue to make sure Trump gets the fuck out.

If you solve the math problem right there, then you may have an OPEN THREAD.

[transcript via Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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