And That's The Story Of How I Became The Mother Of Kaydon Boebert

Because it is one of the days what has occurred since December 19, 1986, there are people in America talking about how Lauren Opal Boebert might not be a particularly bright person. (That's when she was bornt.)

She was talking in a House hearing yesterday about prescription drug prices. We guess she doesn't want them lowered.

“I left a prescription at a pharmacy once. Um, I went to get, um, birth control. And, um, I was there at the counter, went to pay for it, and um, the price was very, very high. I said wow, is this a three-, six-month prescription? No ma’am, this is one month. And I said it’s cheaper to have a kid. And I left it there, and now I have my third son, Kaydon Boebert, um and so I'm actually, it actually turned out to be a really great thing!"



So, you can get birth control for free under Obamacare in many cases, but she's talking about her third child, who according to our quick research was born in 2009 in the front seat of Jayson Boebert's F250, the year before Obamacare passed. (Shit you not.) That one fact might make a person think Lauren Boebert would support lowering the price of prescription drugs, but she's a fuckin' idiot and a heartless piece of shit Republican, so maybe not.

But, we have another quibble. And granted, math is the toughest.

For the year that child was born, and for a family with an income level over about $100K per year, the average cost of raising a child from birth to 18 is about $369,000. According to the internet, at least as of 2020, Boebert's kids went to private school. So that's more.

We are just saying that if the pharmacist quoted Boebert over $369,000 for her birth control scrip, she could have checked with a different pharmacy before saying "OH FIDDLESTICKS!" and giving up on her quest.

Unless she made up this story, do you all think that could be a possibility?

Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has another quibble:

So does Jezebel editor Laura Bassett, who tweeted to remind us that Boebert is "a 36-year-old grandmother who’s currently divorcing her sex pest husband, voted against the right to contraception without government interference and is trying to defund Planned Parenthood, which gives low- and no-cost birth control to the uninsured."

We guess people have a few quibbles with Boebert on this one.

In summary and in conclusion, here is America's Greatest Mathlete telling Steve Bannon that Democrats "maybe [...] just made the whole thing up" about America defaulting on its debt on June 1 if the debt ceiling isn't raised. "Produce the documents and show us the real information," said Boebert, like a person who thinks there is just a single "document" out there full of the "real information" that's being withheld about Debt Ceiling, What Is THAT?*

Maybe it is the same document that says if you don't pay the pharmacist $369,000 for birth control, in nine months you will give birth to Jayden Go-Gurt or whatever.

Such a document could exist, you don't know.

*Here is what the debt ceiling is. There are in fact many documents on the internet about it.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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