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Aren't olds so the funniest, with their not understanding kids these days doing fancy things on their iStuff? Ha ha HA, let's guffaw so hard at them and how they do not keep up with the latest thing that is the latest thing because OLD. We all remember laughing at Sen. Uncle Ted Stevens explaining how the internet is a series of tubes, which was pretty amusing at the time until you realized he was trying to do a favor for the big internet providers by ending net neutrality, and yet he did not understand how that worked, so then it was not all that funny, actually.


But Rep. James Clyburn, Democrat from South Carolina, does not know that texting is not called sexting (unless it is texting with SEX), and that is HI-larious! Clyburn was on the SPAN, talking to a caller who was quite concerned about the state of the union being all effed up and bullcrud, when he made what might have been a good suggestion about how to fight back and participate in your democracy if you are as mad as hell and cannot even take it anymore, except that he said "sext" when he meant "text" (probably), so now his call for organizing is totally beside the point, and the Daily Caller is ON IT:

Use the tools that we have. We’ve got great tools to communicate about everything else. We can text. What do we call it? Sexting. [OMG, he said sexting!!!]. Let’s do some voting, organizing over the internet. We’ve got the tools. Let’s use them for a new massive movement that will make sure that we can have in November 2014 the kind of turnout at the polls that we had in 2012 in November.

For you other olds out there who are reading this right now and do not even understand why this is HI-larious, Daily Caller has this helpful explanation: "Clyburn seemed to confuse basic “texting” with “sexting” — which involves sending sexual messages or photos."

Fox News also thinks this is just so awwwwww-LOL-dorable:

We happen to think it is awwwwww-LOL-dorable when Fox get stuff wrong every single day -- like facts and also too spelling of words -- and we eagerly await Fox's fair and balanced so you can decide report on that.

The real outrage -- because of course this story must inspire outrage somehow; it involves a Democrat, after all -- is that C-SPAN is engaged in some worse-than-Watergate cover-up, refusing to laugh at Clyburn in the transcript, and again, the Daily Caller is ON THAT TOO:

Although the video is crystal clear, the C-SPAN transcript of the exchange leaves out the congressman’s mention of “sexting.”

“We can text. What do we call it? We have great tools to communicate,” the transcript reads.

The C-SPAN website says that the transcript was taken from the “uncorrected Closed Captioning.”

C-SPAN operations manager Steve Strother told The Daily Caller, “C-SPAN does not produce transcripts. The Closed Captioning is produced live as the event occurs by a 3rd party and we cannot edit the text of the closed captioning. The text will not be corrected.”

This just proves that C-SPAN is part of the LIE-brul lamestream media, forever protecting the wrongdoings of liberals who do not know the difference between using the internet as a small-d democratic organizing tool and "sending sexual messages or photos." Hopefully, Rep. Darrell Issa will launch an investigation and start sending out some subpoenas on this.

[Daily Caller/TPM]

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Let the quitfiring begin! Donald Trump's own internal polls are shit, so obviously it's time to fire the pollsters. Last week, the New York Times reported that Trump is freaking out and using his ancient, unsecured cellphone to make late night booty calls to his old pals for a little rub and tug to his ego. Russia, if you're listening ... and we know you are.

The Ego in Chief is flipping his shit because his own pollster Tony Fabrizio -- of Paul Manafort kickback and internal polling shared with Russians fame -- showed Trump trailing Biden badly this March in 11 swing states, with close races in six others. Trump's campaign manager Brad "Pube Beard" Parscale has been bragging about expanding his campaign into New Mexico, New Hampshire, and Nevada, at the same time his internal polls show them losing Pennsylvania by 16, Wisconsin by 11, Minnesota by 14, Michigan by 13, North Carolina by 8, Virginia by 17, and Ohio by 1. Fabrizio even showed him losing Georgia by 6!

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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