Brett Kavanaugh, Ken Starr, Vince Foster's Corpse Peen, And Bill Clinton's Live One.
Outtake from "Logjammin': The Kavanaugh Confirmation"

A whole bunch of Republicans are simply aghast that poor Brett Kavanaugh is being accused of attempting to rape a girl when he was but an innocent lad of 17. These same Republicans seem to forget there was an innocent lass of 15 at the time, and that she's the one who suffered lifetime effects from the incident, but that's how willful blindness goes, isn't it? In any case, some folks are just astonished that the nation is having all this unpleasantness brought up, like Ken "Blue Dress" Starr, who went on the Laura Ingraham show yesterday to urge the Senate to just get on with the vote. Gosh, why are people so intent on living in the past, huh?

Starr, of course, would know all about the urge to just move on and let the past be past, since the sole reason he's on a book tour just now is that he's written a memoir about his investigation of Bill Clinton's peener, proving you can make a tidy living on the past. And it's really nice of him to want to help his pal Brett Kavanaugh, who back in the '90s was a member of Starr's own posse on what was still laughingly called the "Whitewater" investigation long after it was obvious neither Clinton had broken any laws in that real estate deal. But surely, young Brett Kavanaugh reasoned, they had to be guilty of something, which is why Kavanaugh spent years trying to prove Hillary had murdered Vince Foster, a hypothesis that proved difficult to nail down, what with there being no evidence for it.

Not that he didn't try his damnedest, all while knowing it was bullshit, as Heather Digby Parton reminds us at Salon:

He spent three years and $2 million attempting to dig up dirt on the dead man, at one point demanding that Foster's teenage daughter give the authorities specimens of her hair -- an apparent attempt to prove or imply that a hair found on Foster's jacket had belonged to Hillary Clinton [...]

It later became clear that Kavanaugh knew all along that Foster had committed suicide, and that he had used the power and resources of the independent counsel's office to lend credibility to vulgar sexual rumors about the first lady, in the process needlessly torturing the family of a dead man.

Kavanaugh even pushed to have Mrs. Clinton interviewed on the important question of whether she'd had an affair with Foster, for which the only evidence was a whisper campaign by rightwingers who thought she must have, otherwise why would she have killed him?

But the really outrageous thing is that the Democrats want the Senate Judiciary Committee hear from Christine Blasey Ford, who has been trying to bring the story to light for months but hadn't been taken seriously until last week. Shame on them for trying to dishonor a nice man who has to be innocent so he can make sure Donald Trump is never subpoenaed and overturn Roe v Wade. How about a little respect for a very distinguished man who shouldn't have to answer rude questions? We think they have a point! Kavanaugh should get exactly as much deference as he was willing to give Bill Clinton, as he detailed in a memo to Starr in 1998:

After that very balanced call for a careful and judicious approach, of course, Kavanaugh then offered a list of questions he thought would be appropriate to ask Clinton, including:

If Monica Lewinsky says that on several occasions in the Oval Office area, you used your fingers to stimulate her vagina and bring her to orgasm, would she be lying?

If Monica Lewinsky says that you ejaculated into her mouth on two occasions in the Oval Office area, would she be lying?

If Monica Lewinsky says that on several occasions you had her give [you] oral sex, made her stop, and then ejaculated into the sink in the bathroom of the Oval Office, would she be lying?

If Monica Lewinsky says that you masturbated into a trashcan in your secretary's office, would she [be] lying?

Ah, but you see, that was all in the context of a criminal investigation of Bill Clinton for lying about blowjobs, not the stately context of a Senate hearing about Kavanaugh's fitness for a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, so it obviously would not do to ask Kavanaugh any questions about what happened at the party where Christine Ford says he tried to rape her. Heavens, what has become of decorum? Only a partisan hack would pursue such questions, right?

Finally, of course, there's Ken Starr his ownself, who said Sunday he was "outraged" that Democrats had suddenly brought up Dr. Ford's accusation, and insisted it would simply be improper to even consider the matter now:

I just think it's too late for there to be any serious consideration at this stage. The matter has adjourned, you had the opportunity to come forward, and you failed to do that year after year after year.

Hmm ... you know, Herr Starr, that's not what the "Time's Up" movement is all about, right? Might also be worth noting the Republicans' rushed calendar isn't really anything but an arbitrary deadline meant to seat Kavanaugh on the Court as soon as humanly possible, mostly to get it out of the way before the elections, not a holy Constitutional requirement.

It makes sense that Starr wouldn't be too hot on pursuing anyone other than Bill Clinton, because after all, Clinton had besmirched the presidency by being a Democrat who had a consensual affair, and that's a very bad thing. Kavanaugh, on the other hand, is accused of attempted rape, but he is, after all, on the right side, and Ken Starr knows all about not letting a few sexual assaults bother him. Remember, he was shitcanned from Baylor University after it was learned that he and f'ball coach Art Briles knew about sexual assault and dating violence accusations against several f'ball players, but failed to do anything about it.

Gosh, these guys sure are worried about getting to the truth of the matter when it involves anyone but them, huh?

[Salon / Brett Kavanaugh Memo to Ken Starr / Atlantic]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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