Let's Take A Fun Look Back At Dumb Things People Said About Trump


Today's Supreme Court shenanigans remind us that voting for Hillary Clinton shouldn't have just been an easy ask but it was actually in the best interests of humanity.

I'm starting to think we shouldn't have listened to professional media types who are often not just wrong but spectacularly wrong.

LOL! Oh Mags! You're just adorbs, aren't you? The New York Times chief wrongness correspondent wrote this prior to the Indiana GOP primary, when Trump was running against the overtly anti-LGBT Ted Cruz. Even liberal scum like myself might've breathed a sigh of relief when Trump defeated Cruz, who lacked Trump's reported "ease with gay people." (I confess I still sometimes watch Cruz's concession speech as a pick-me-up.) I'm sure the pressing question in the Times newsroom -- rather than "how in bed with Russia is this guy?" -- was whether he'd attend the Pride marches in DC or his home base of New York.

Right! Trump has never even mentioned Pride Month. He posed with a taco bowl for Cinco de Mayo, but he can't be bothered to tweet a picture of himself with a Donna Summer CD? ("Happy Pride! The best pomegranate martinis are made in Trump Tower Grill! I love the homos and queers!") Did the Mike Pence/Hamilton cast stand-off sour him on the pink? Haberman tried to warn us.

However, I think Trump had his anti-LGBT on full Cruz-control from the start: He tapped selected "electric gays" proponent Pence as VP, tried to ban transgender people from serving in the military, and has since praised anti-LGBT Supreme Court decisions.

The "Baker" has a name. I don't know why Trump went all Karen Walker on him. I think Haberman's mistake was one so many made, which was to view Trump as the "wacky NY celebrity" rather than someone who could pose a serious threat. You know, this guy: Does this lover of processed cheeseburger products look like the warden of kiddie prisons to you?

I miss Grimace. He was such a moderating influence on the administration. Anyway, I could forgive the press this major error if it wasn't still doubling down and claiming we're all just riding the silly train for worrying about the nice little Constitutional democracy we had going for a while.

The Washington Post's Megan McArdle gave a Twitter lecture Monday on how unbreakable American democracy is and how we'd "survive" Trump like we survive our just-dumped friends singing "I Will Survive" at karaoke.

I doubt Trump is dumb enough to just "cancel the election," and if he did, the woman whose dining habits the chattering classes holds sacred would just pull an Orwell and claim we'd never had elections on Tuesdays in years that end with "20." Then Maxine Waters might say something harsh, and we'd just talk somberly about that for a while. No, Trump is more likely to borrow from his man crush Putin and happily participate in a sham election he easily wins. The Supreme Court has already aided that effort. Why bother cancelling elections when you can just cancel (POC) voters?

That reminds me: Justice Scalia didn't just keel over during Trump's inauguration, which I feared Justice Ginsburg might. Scalia had died almost a year earlier, when the Muslim was still president. Why was the seat still vacant for Trump to replace with the right wing Neil Gorsuch? You can thank Senator Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (and Dems who didn't show up in 2014), who flat-out refused to hold hearings for still-president Barack Obama's pick Merrick Garland. This kick in the groin to the majority who elected Obama twice to do things like nominate Supreme Court judges was met with a collective shrug. Now, the current conservative majority, which shouldn't constitutionally exist, is approving clearly racially motivated gerrymandering and Muslim bans -- the latter an endorsement of presidential powers that Trump is likely to notice.

Speaking of people we shouldn't listen to: Remember when Susan Sarandon claimed that Trump's election would "bring the revolution"?

Dammit Janet, it's been 522 days? Where's that revolution? We're waiting. I'm curious as to what an acceptable "revolution" would resemble if we can't kneel, ask people to leave restaurants, or protest outside their swanky apartments. Maybe that's what's holding it up. Well, let us know when that nice big fluffy bunny of a revolution turns up for Republicans to still fault for the decline in our public discourse.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins runs from March through May at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo.

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Can we just say that when Fox idiot Maria Bartiromo sounds like the sane person in a situation, that is a worrisome situation? That is what happened when Donald Trump -- who's just had a fantastic Infrastructure Week, assuming it is Infrastructure Week, and we always do -- sat down for what was supposed to be an easy breezy "You're the best!"/"No YOU are, Mister President!" interview with his beloved Fox pals.

Instead Maria Bartiromo had to ask the question on everybody's mind, which is WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GOD, or, more clearly, is there a reason you have spent this entire week of your presidency picking a fight with a dead guy, who somehow seems to be winning that fight, because you are literally so stupid and incompetent you LOSE FIGHTS TO DEAD GUYS?

She said it nicer than that, though.

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Last fall, after Wisconsin voters rejected Gov. Scott Walker's reelection bid and chose Democrat Tony Evers instead, Republicans in the state legislature got very busy doing anything they could to limit the power of the incoming governor and the new Democratic attorney general, Josh Kaul. Hey, voters may have chosen Evers, but that didn't mean Rs had to let Democrats actually govern, now did it? As Republican state House Speaker Robin Vos rather notoriously said at the time, the lege had to act because "We are going to have a very liberal governor who is going to enact policies that are in direct contrast to what many of us believe in." So in a two day "extraordinary session," the Republicans shifted power from the executive branch and gave those powers to the legislature, which conveniently remained in Republican control thanks to gerrymandering. Scott Walker signed the bills and then began his career as an idiot on Twitter.

Yesterday, a Wisconsin judge found the entire lame duck session violated the state constitution, and invalidated the laws it passed. Dane County Circuit Judge Richard Niess said in his decision the Wisconsin constitution is quite specific about when the legislature can meet, and nope, the "extraordinary session" didn't meet the constitutional requirements, so sorry guys, you didn't follow the rules and your laws ARE MOOT.

The Associated Press lawsplains the constitutional neener-neener:

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