Let's Watch Old Handsome Joe Tell Us About His Meeting With That Stinker Putin!

Let's Watch Old Handsome Joe Tell Us About His Meeting With That Stinker Putin!
Joe Biden GIF

Seriously, what a stinker he is, what a li'l stinker.

Here's your video! Looks like Biden's gonna be on time! Just kidding, he's early!

1:22: What IS this, a president who is early for a press conference?

Anyway, Biden says he's not against Putin or against Russia, he's FOR the American people. So this is already way different from a Trump-Putin meeting.

1:23: Biden says he's always going to push Putin on human rights, including things like Alexei Navalny, who is still languishing in a Russian prison, and two "wrongfully imprisoned American citizens" in Russia, plus Radio Free Europe, and how it should operate freely. Oh yeah, and that thing where Putin attacks America's elections.

Says there are also areas where we can mutually cooperate for our benefit, the Russians' benefit, and the rest of the world's benefit.

1:26: Biden says he gave Putin a list of 16 areas of critical infrastructure that should be OFF LIMITS for MALARKEY ATTACKS. Says he and Putin agreed to work on things like this. Putin was of course lying, but Biden isn't stupid, he knows that.

1:27: HAHAHAHAHA Biden almost accidentally called Putin's press conference (which happened just before this) "President Trump's press conference." WHOOPS, FREUD.

1:29: Biden says they had a good tone for the meeting. We'll note that the Putin body language this entire day has been soooooo different from how it was when he would come out after Trump would go in the closet with him for seven minutes in heaven.

1:31: First question from Jonathan Lemire. Notes that Putin continues to not accept responsibility for continuing our elections, and Trump let him get away with it and wouldn't blame him for it. Biden says Putin knows there are consequences with him. Biden says one of the consequences he thinks matters with Putin is that Putin's credibility shrinks worldwide when he pulls that shit and is held accountable for it. "It's not just what I do."

1:35: Biden says he has no problem doing business with Russia or doing good things for the Russian people as long as Russia plays by international norms and doesn't fuck around and find out. This includes things like if Putin lets Alexei Navalny die in prison.

Biden says he knows people make foreign policy out to be some big secret skill, but really it's just an extension of human relationships. If you act like garbage, get treated like garbage.

1:38: Biden says he doesn't want to put words in Putin's mouth but he's PRETTY SURE that guy doesn't want a Cold War. Proceeds to explain all the problems Russia has and noting that a Cold War really wouldn't be in his interest. Says it's not some kind of "Kum Ba Yah" moment, but let's be real. Same time, he doesn't think Putin's ready to be like, a good guy or anything. He didn't look into Putin's soul like Dubya or anything.

1:40: Question: Why didn't you and Putin meet longer?

Answer: Because we were finished?

1:44: YAMICHE ALCINDOR: You said there were no threats, were there any ultimatums on things like Russian hackers attacking our pipelines and stuff?

BIDEN: He knows what's gonna happen if he doesn't get his asshole hackers under control. Says he told Putin something like hey, what if American hackers attacked THE ONE THING RUSSIA HAS GOING FOR IT, which is oil? How you like that?

Alcindor also asked about Putin's comparisons of January 6 terrorists to political prisoners. Biden says fuuuuuuck that's ridiculous.

1:46: REPORTER: Can you trust Putin?

BIDEN: This ain't about trust. This is about self-interest and verification of self-interest. "The proof of the pudding is in the eating!" We think he just said that.

President Biden is hungry, probably.

1:51: Haha, Biden just blew off a question from a reporter because it was like the ninth time somebody has asked him about that time he said Putin doesn't have a soul. He is very "asked and answered" with that.

Next question!

Also Biden just clarified that he and China's President Xi are not "old friends." This is "pure business." This was in response to Peter Doocy, who was being a fucking idiot and an embarrassment to everyone, as usual.

Here is video of these two exchanges:

1:55: Well that ended on a testy note!

As Biden was leaving, some reporter yelled out a thing about why is Biden SO CONFIDENT Putin is going to change his behavior, which is something Biden never said, never alluded to, never suggested. So he got kinda testy like when did I say that! WHEN? I didn't say that. And if you think I really think that, you don't understand diplomacy YA BURNT IT'S MY DINNER TIME GOODBYE.

It was actually kind of an anger-y moment!

And on that note, the press conference is over and this liveblog is over YA BURNT IT'S OUR DINNER TIME GOODBYE.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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