Levi Johnston To Run For Political Office On Television, Just Like Jesus
Important news from Alaska! Now that Levi and Bristol'sre-engagement has ended its two-week run at the top of the charts, Levi obviously needs something new to keep him in the public eye, because without the adoration of millions he will literally fade into non-existence. Fortunately, Levi has the services of his indefatigable manager, "Tank Jones" (or possibly "'Tank' Jones"), who is always looking for new ways to build the Levi brand of droll dumbshittery. What better way for Levi to give back to his nation and leagues of adoring fans than to run for mayor in the same awful town that foisted his erstwhile mother-in-law-to-be on the rest of the world? And if someone who ran a television network wanted to follow Levi around with cameras while this happened, and also maybe give Levi and Tank Jones some money in the process, well, it's not like anyone could stop them, right? It's still a free country, last we checked.
Variety, the number-one publication focusing on Alaskan municipal politics, has an interview with Levi and Tank on his reality show mayoral run. It is sadly not written in Variety's hilarious in-house gangster slang, and is mostly awful, but does contain just enough hints of the visceral anti-Palin hostility that keeps us from turning our back on Levi entirely:
VARIETY: What happens if you actually get elected?
LEVI JOHNSTON: Then I'm the new mayor. I will serve, the whole thing.
VARIETY: That mayoral position in Wasilla can be a launching pad for a bigger career in politics, as a certain former mayor has shown. Do you harbor further political aspirations?
TANK JONES: We're going to go for governor after mayor. I'm the campaign manager. If we successfully do the mayor thing, we're going to do the governorship. We're not trying to copy anybody, but we feel he can better serve these two positions that have been so light for so long. He's going to come in and try to help the people.
VARIETY: Levi, what do you think the reaction is going to be from the Palin camp when they hear that you're running for political office?
Still, though: mostly awful. On the other hand, didn't people say that our Lord and Savior was mostly awful, back when he was just getting his political career started? Yes, Jones told the AP.
Asked whether he believed people would take Johnston's run for office seriously, with TV cameras rolling, Jones said: "People questioned Jesus Christ, so I definitely don't care about these mere mortals questioning Levi Johnston.
"People can question whatever they want. I mean, he's going to keep on doing his thing," he said. "He was going to do this, even if this wasn't a reality show."