(Unicorn horn sold separately)
Oh boy! It's that very special time of the year: The fringe candidate ads are here! Feast on this brilliant sample of sensory overload from Libertarian presidential candidate John McAffee. Yes, the antivirus guy. Yes, the one who "was named as a 'person of interest' in an unsolved 2012 murder case in Belize and later claimed he is a target of a Central American hit squad for his criticisms of the Belize government." Yes, the guy who had seven women living with him in Belize as part of a "social engineering project," which even Yr Wonkette thinks is an unnecessarily complex term for "enjoys group sex, maybe, and if it's consensual, that's OK."
But just get a load of this techno-loaded jump-cutting ad, which includes snippets of Serenity and The Simpsons to makeSerious Political Points.As the label on the Plastic Ono Band's 45's used to say, PLAY LOUD:
So that happened. It looks like something from InfoWars, only without quite so much emphasis on the Illuminati.
The ad offers some very deep thoughts on the American political system, like the onscreen text informing us, "Every four years Americans come together to bully their neighbors" and "Politics is dying. Kill politics so it can be reborn. Be a Libertarian."
Missing from the ad is the equally valid statement "There's a spaceship behind the comet. Get your purple jumpsuit on now!"
Out of place though the Simpsons clip seems, the ad still does less violence to the animated series than Ted Cruz did, so there's that.
McAfee's running mate Judd Weiss created the video, and explained what he was trying to accomplish:
"We are going after youth," he said. He knows they may turn some people off, and they are even "hoping to create a certain outrage and then pour gasoline on the fire. We want to make something beautiful the media can't resist. We want people on the streets with picket signs [in protest]. That's the goal. I haven't gotten there yet, but give me time, I'm just starting."
There you go. Hope that settles your questions. In the unlikely event Weiss doesn't take up residence in lair House in January 2017, he should at least be available to produce laser shows synced to Pink Floyd and Daft Punk.
Oh fer heaven's sake, go Galt already, pleez? Irrelevant? That's the worst fate that can befall you as a result of living a civilized life? Using public infrastructure that other people's taxes paid to develop (like that internet you are using right now!) while screaming about tax being theft in bold, red, flashing letters isn't "irrelevant", it's dishonest, pure and simple.
You libertarians want to enjoy the fruits of other people's labor, yet you do not want to pay for it in your turn. You want to have internet and other telecommunications, expect your lights to turn on when you flip the switch, want to drive down pot-hole free roads, want sewage treatment plants so that you aren't standing knee deep in your own and everyone else's shit, want clean water to drink and safe food to eat, your doctor to have the knowledge to treat your illness, blood available if you should have an accident, police to arrest the asshole who stole your tablet, and someone to make certain he pays for his crime, fire fighters to put out that wildfire heading toward your house, planes which don't collide with each other in mid-air, plus the many other benefits of living in a civilized society - yet you would destroy it all because you read a book in your extended adolescence that told you that money and the love of it is the be-all and end-all of existence, selfishness is the highest virtue in this world, and that caring about your fellow human beings is evil. And it appealed to you so much that you confused fiction with fact and are sure that you will somehow magically be on the top of the heap when all the "looters" and "moochers" get what they deserve in Galtopia.
Got news for you, pal: we would never have been able to form societies and create capitalism in the first place had personal selfishness uber alles been the guiding principle of human evolution. But if cooperation and altruism (gasp! - the worstest ideas ever!) disgust you, and paying taxes is something that you view as anathema, no one is forcing you to stay.
That hot objectivist paradise known as Somalia is yours for the taking - no government to speak of, though it does have a bit of a warlord problem, though that shouldn't be a problem for the True Capitalist Believer - so you and your fellow objectivists have a golden (*snerk*) opportunity awaiting you. By all means, show us mere mortals How It's Done. They already have their own pirate fleet. It should be a piece of cake for all of you ubermensch to tax yourselves voluntarily fund the modern infrastructure you deserve and its construction, as well as producing something of value for you to trade for food and raw materials, plus a military to protect it all (damn those takers!) in no time flat. There you can prove to us all how ruthless, laissez-faire capitalism with no regulation to speak of will produce the greatest society the world has ever seen, with no repercussions from everyone living only for themselves and behaving as if their fellow human beings are nothing but tools to be used. Can't wait!
P.S. Oh, btw, it might interest you to know that Ms. Jaundiced herself ended up on the side of the Looters. Rather than stoically lay down and die from the lung cancer she caused herself by smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day (as she demanded of everyone else afflicted with a deadly disease they couldn't pay to treat), she took the Social Security and Medicare she was entitled to, prolonging her life at the taxpayers' expense. What a parasite!
Regardless of the crude medium in which it has been portrayed, this is the message of the future. The message of our future, of a bright future, where the threat of force as a means to an end no longer exists, and the protection and pursuit of one's own individual liberty is the supreme law of the land. Keep denigrating and mocking this message as so many before you have done, your time, and the time of those of your ilk is nearing an end.