Lindsey Graham Pretty Sure The GOP’s Future Is Someone With The Last Name T****
We try not to discuss the twice-impeached thug or his low-rent, Shurfine family, but Sunday, during an interview with Fox News anchor Chris Wallace, South Carolina GOP Senator Lindsey Graham made the following banana pants declaration.
North Carolina, the biggest winner I think of this whole impeachment trial is Lara Trump. My dear friend Richard Burr … just made Lara Trump almost the certain nominee for the Senate seat in North Carolina to replace him if she runs.
North Carolina Senator Richard Burr was one of seven Republicans who voted to convict the insurrectionist in chief. Graham, who apparently believes resentment is the GOP's sole animating principle, thinks this puts President Klan Robe's daughter-in-law, Lara Trump, in a solid position to win Burr's seat when he retires in 2022.
Yes, Lara Trump, who's never held political office and willingly married Eric Trump, is the person Graham considers the “future of the Republican Party." Fellow South Carolinian Nikki Haley is yesterday's news because she recently told Politico:
We need to acknowledge he let us down ... He went down a path he shouldn't have, and we shouldn't have followed him, and we shouldn't have listened to him. And we can't let that ever happen again.
Graham told Wallace that Haley is all wrong about the mad king, who Graham believes will play an important role in Republican efforts to reclaim the House and Senate in the 2022 midterms. We wouldn't presume to offer advice to a savvy political operator like Graham, but his BFF is radioactive. After his fluke win in 2016, the thing that once squatted in the White House has lost every subsequent election that served as a referendum on his awfulness.
So, sure, go ahead and nominate sloppy second Trumps for key races, rather than less obnoxious but still odious “normal" Republicans. If Democrats can refrain from putting up another dull sexter, we could probably flip Burr's vacated seat. We just have to get past ... Lara Trump.
It's true that Trump is a North Carolina native, but winning a Senate race requires more than simply growing up in the state. (We checked.) She worked for
Inside Edition as a producer before joining the Trump
crime family campaign in 2016. She was a senior consultant on Brad Parscale's 2020 Death Star and was handsomely compensated $180,000 a year for her “efforts." (Meanwhile, the twice-impeached thug's broke-ass supporters are at risk of losing their homes.) Lara Trump also campaigned with local crackpot and Islamophobe Laura Loomer. She's never run for political office herself. Please note how well that turned out for Kelly Loeffler.
Remember how during 2019's dumbass government shutdown, Lara Trump suggested that furloughed federal employees should live with a "little bit of pain" for the glory of WALL?
A few months later, Trump declared on Fox Business that Angela Merkel's decision, like an actual leader of the free world, to welcome Middle Eastern refugees was the “downfall of Germany." Trump tried to hedge her bets and claim this was "one of" the worst things to ever happen to Germany. That way there's room to include the Holocaust and literally not the Holocaust. Still, as Anderson Cooper said, if Trump wasn't sure what the actual “downfall of Germany" was, she should've asked a fifth grader to clear it up for her.
Early last year, Trump also mocked Joe Biden's stutter like a gross bully.
I feel kind of sad for Joe Biden ... I'm supposed to want him to fail at every turn, but every time he comes on stage or they turn to him I'm like “Joe can you get it out? Let's get the words out Joe." ... The problem is that's their front runner.
Yes, he was the frontrunner in January of 2020, and now he's our president. Suck it.
This is whom Lindsey Graham considers the “future" of the Republican Party, another know-nothing creep for the Marjorie Taylor Greene caucus. North Carolina can do better. We'll see to it.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).