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Lindsey Graham Real Sorry He Called Nancy Pelosi A Plastic-Faced Old Hag

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Sen. Lindsey Graham, South Carolina's most genteel gentleman and apparently the bastard son of John McCain (who knew?), has been testing the waters "to look beyond South Carolina as to whether or not a guy like Lindsey Graham has a viable path" to the White House.


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The answer is a resounding "hahahahahaha are you kidding?" -- and Graham's big ol' outreach eff-up on Tuesday, following Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's address to Congress, certainly doesn't help him:

In a private fund-raiser after the speech, Republican Senator Lindsey Graham pointed to Pelosi’s behavior as evidence that a Republican majority is better for those who support Israel. “Did you see Nancy Pelosi on the floor. Complete disgust,” he said, according to one attendee. “If you can get through all the surgeries, there’s disgust.”

Oooh, good one, Lindsey! Because, like, Nancy Pelosi is super old, unlike 59-year-old strapping young disco studmuffin Graham, and you know how old ladies do all that surgery to their old lady faces to cover up how they are so old, UGH, amirite?

Apparently no, because even Graham was able to recognize -- after the entire internet pointed it out to him -- that maybe making "jokes" in private about how Pelosi is a gross old hag is not the best way for him to demonstrate his mass appeal beyond the borders of his own bedroom, let alone South Carolina.

Oh, so according to Graham, he did have a legitimate criticism (not really) of Pelosi's "disturbing" reaction to Netanyahu's speech, but it was apparently buried under his highbrow humor about her old lady face. Yeah, that's presidential all right.

Graham has a history of deep-throating his own foot, especially when it comes to telling "jokes" in private to show what a man's man he is. Last October, he gave a speech to the Hibernian Society of Charleston, in which he "joked":

I’m trying to help you with your tax status. I’m sorry the government’s so fucked up. If I get to be president, white men in male-only clubs are going to do great in my presidency.

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No, but kidding aside, fellas -- oh, and ladies, also ladies! -- Graham really does want to be president of all the U.S. Americans, and that will totally happen if he can just learn to stop "joking" about how he actually only cares about his rich white Dixie bros. Before someone starts thinking he isn't just joking after all.

[Bloomberg/HuffPo]

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'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

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Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

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