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For years, Lindsey Graham has been dogged (a little bit of pun intended there) by allegations that he is gay. He denies this, and professes to just be a strange bachelor whose house is strewn with trash. Last December, however, gay-outer Mike Rogers said he had "pictures" of a man who spent the night at Graham's house. But the photos never materialized. Sure, there are photos like the one above, of a man showing Ham Biscuits a map of a penis being inserted into some kind of orifice. But in the interest of closure, we've tried to find some really butch photos of Graham. He's totally straight!

Here's Lindsey with his fellow beauty pageant winners bitches. (Wait, that almost sounds as bad.)

Lindsey may be distracted by something and not actually watching the woman next to him, but hey, look at that erection he's covering up!

Hmm, this time he's staring at a strapping army man when he's covering it up. Maybe a hot lady just walked by?

Here he is with men in uniform again and has to use even stronger force to keep down the boner: the edge of a weighty plaque. Why are the sexy women always off camera? Where did you put your ladies, Lindsey? Seems kind of odd he didn't have to strike this pose with the beauty queens.

Well, Boy Scouts aren't allowed within 500 yards of a gay person! ERGO, STRAIGHT.

The caption on this said the two were discussing the YMCA. Nothing gay about that! The YMCA is where men go to do very masculine things like build muscle and take showers with each other.

Lindsey Graham speaking in a classroom at Bob Jones University. Notice the Jesus lesson above the chalkboard about "wicked thoughts," then look back down at Lindsey's face. He's certainly not thinking anything wicked!

Finally, the greatest American male activity: football. Surely Graham was drawn in by the thrill of the sport, not because the team is called the "Cocks."

Yep, no problem here! Keep on opposing rights for gay people, Ham Biscuits.

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Before we get all het up about Donald Trump's press conference with Vladimir Putin, Tucker Carlson says, we need to look at the larger perspective. Maybe Russia hacked us, maybe they didn't, but what about how Mexicans have interfered in our elections for decades just by being born here, huh?

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pic of Butina and her handler via Butina's Twitter

Have you been enjoying the last 24 hours of the mainstream media suddenly realizing there's a Russian intelligence asset in the White House, which is something we at Wonkette have known since October of 2016? Hilarious, right? Anyway, DOJ just found another Russian spy in its big "witch hunt." Her name is Maria Butina and she was arrested on Sunday, because the feds were pretty sure she was about to run. Now she is being held in federal custody without bond.

Butina, who is being called a Russian gun rights activist in the news reels, has been indicted for being a total fucking Russian spy who secretly worked to infiltrate the NRA and use it to create secret back channels between the Kremlin and the Republican party. WITCH HUNT!

Keep one idea in your head during this post, please: There is no such thing as a Russian gun rights activist, at least not in the way that we know it. They do not have a "second amendment" in Russia. It is not a gun culture. And Vladimir Putin's political party certainly isn't trying to Samantha Stephens one into existence! So it would follow that if a "Russian gun nut" is up the NRA's ass trying to create back channels, she is actually just a Russian spy who probably isn't even that good at guns.

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