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Live-Blog, The Fab Fifth: Mitt's Concession Speech And/Or The Meltdown Of His Circuitry

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Well, here's one tiny bit of good news for Mitt Romney: one of your Comics Curmudgeon's Facebook friends who's a designer for an events company says Mitt's set is much nicer than Barack's. So glad we get to look at it, while he talks about how he lost! Let's watch him sputter out his last public speech we'll ever have to care about. Live-blog-time!

12:47: Mitt's motorcade appoacheth its destiny! WHEEE!!!

12:52: Mitt was classy and called Barack rather than conceding by writing on his Facebook wall. ABC reports that there is some desultory "Mitt, Mitt!" chanting at the hotel. Glad we didn't get audio, it was probably the saddest thing ever.

12:53 Rich A.: 5 bucks Obama answered the phone "Sorry, who's this?"

12:55: Here's Mitt! They were drunk-singing "God Bless America" right before he came in.

12:56: Mitt wishes the President and his family well, and prays the president will be successful. What kind of Republican is he?

12:57: "Besides my wife Ann, Paul Ryan is the best choice I ever made." HOTT

12:58: Haha, the Baltimore ABC affiliate literally just cut to a local car dealership ad in the middle of Mitt's speech. Let's try CBS?

12:58: Don't know if it's the audio, but it really sounds like there's about 500 people in this room tops.

12:58: Mitt is now just asking teachers and ministers and job creators to do a good job at their thing, whatever it is. It's ... bland and nice but kind of weird? HMM.

12:59: "Paul and I have left everything on the field." Ths is sexy too, right? Mitt wishes he had been able to "fulfill your hopes."

1:00 HOLY SHIT AND NOW HE'S DONE! That ... that was shockingly fast? And fairly classy? Huh.

1:01 Mitt now hugs each of his sons individually, this will take longer than the speech.

1:03: So, what do you all want to talk about? How about that Nate Silver, huh? If Florida goes to Barry as it looks like it might, he will have gotten every state exactly right.

1:05: OK, your other Wonketteers are blog-burned-out and so we are going to do Barry's victory speech too! FUN! We shall disengage our mean spite mode.

1:06: Bob Schieffer on CBS says that Barry has no mandate because the popular vote is so close. Get used to hearing that over the next four years!

1:09: Whoops change of plan! Your Rich Abdill will be here in a minute live-blogging the victory speech because he loves victory. We hear Barry is still back at his hotel, enjoying a victory pack of Marlboro Reds. We'll link to the new post when it's ready!

1:12: This means something: CBS just ran an ad for a Christian dating website.

1:14: Statement from John Boehner: "America elected both us and the President and we need to find a way to work together." Presumably this is an olive branch and the two will find a way to work together and find compromise for the betterment of the nation and hahahaha sorry we can't even finish that sentence.

1:18: And now your Rich Abdill is ready to rock your world! Enjoy him transcribing whatever Obama reads off of his Muslim teleprompter, about sharia communism.

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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