LIVE: Volodymyr Zelenskyy Yells At Congress, Which Probably Deserves It

LIVE: Volodymyr Zelenskyy Yells At Congress, Which Probably Deserves It

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is set to address Congress this morning. He's going to yell at us a bit. He's probably going to keep demanding that no-fly zone, and he's going to keep telling us to give him those damn Polish jets.

Later this morning, President Joe Biden will also address the nation on what we're doing in Ukraine. But first he, like the rest of us, will watch Zelenskyy.

But will Joe Biden liveblog it? No, because he's falling down on the job and anyway all he would do is type "GOOD MALARKEY!" or "BAD MALARKEY!" depending on whether he liked whatever Zelenskyy said.

9:06: Zelenskyy receiving a standing ovation from Congress as Nancy Pelosi prepares to introduce him.

Pelosi begins by trying to lead Congress in a chant of "Slava Ukraini!" so that was a moment you literally won't see anywhere else.

9:08: "Glory to heroes," says Zelenskyy, who's now giving a recap of all the ways Russia inflicted this on them for absolutely no reason.

9:09: Zelenskyy says Americans have times in our history that should help us understand what Ukraine needs from us now. Says remember Pearl Harbor. Remember 9/11, when "evil tried to turn your cities, independent territories into battlefields" in an attack that came from the air. "Russia has turned the Ukrainian sky into a source of death for thousands of people."

9:12: Zelenskyy is yet again calling for a "humanitarian no-fly zone" and says if that's too much, he needs those damn planes that are on the ground in Poland.

9:13: Zelenskyy is saying he's appreciative for what the US has done and what Joe Biden has done, but says they need more. New sanctions, every week. Sanction every politician in Russia. All American companies out of Russia. Says the market is "flooded with our blood." Asks Congress that if there are companies in their individual districts that still are working in Russia and therefore financing their war machine, pressure them to get out. All American ports closed to Russian goods.

9:18: Zelenskyy is showing a video of what Russia is doing to the beautiful cities on his country. We're just going to quietly watch.

9:20: The video ends with the message, "close the sky over Ukraine."

Hey remember how Donald Trump, on top of extorting Zelenskyy with the weapons he needed to defend Ukraine against literally what's happening right now, in exchange for announcing an investigation into the Bidens, ALSO was extorting Zelenskyy for a White House meeting, in order to show Russia that the US was on Ukraine's side? Well now Zelenskyy has the attention of Congress and the entire world.

Zelenskyy says being the leader of the world depends on being the leader of peace. Says Ukraine is fighting for the values of Europe and the world. Says this is literally about keeping the planet alive.

9:25: And Zelenskyy finishes and receives a second standing ovation from a Congress where for Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell are literally sitting next to each other.

So that happened.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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