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Oh thank goodness, GOP Rep. Liz Cheney has figured out how to love Donald Trump and be a lying asshole at the same time again. Cheney was one of the 99 percent of Republicans who showed a remarkable ability to think for themselves for about five seconds, after Donald Trump got on the phone with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and said it would be cool with him if Turkey decided to massacre our allies the Kurds. The Turkish invasion has of course led to predictable war crimes, including Turkey OOPSIE attacking American special forces in Syria.

But Cheney's figured out the real culprit in all the genocide, and it is Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi and whoever else is currently in the process of impeaching Donald Trump because he is a criminal. AYUP. She explained this on "Fox & Friends," because where else would she explain it?


Cheney allows that yes, it is bad when we abandon our allies, and she is worried what will happen if our "adversaries begin to think we won't defend our allies." BUT SHE ALSO WANTS TO SAY:

CHENEY: But I also want to say that the impeachment proceedings that are going on, and what the Democrats are doing themselves to try to weaken this president, is part of this. It was not an accident that the Turks chose this moment to roll across the border. And I think the Democrats have gotta pay careful attention to the damage that they're doing with the impeachment proceedings.

Ooh, ooh, Liz Cheney, pick Wonkette! Wonkette would like to say a thing!

The first thing Wonkette would like to say is GO FUCK YOURSELF. Impeachment is part of the US Constitution, the remedy proscribed for dealing with lawless presidents, and there has been none more lawless in American history than Donald J. Trump.

The second thing Wonkette would like to say is actually also GO FUCK YOURSELF. Indeed, it was not an accident that the Turks chose this moment to roll across the border. It was a direct result of President Dipfuck getting on the phone with Erdoğan and getting completely rolled, like he always does, saying Americans will back off from defending our allies the Kurds, so that Turkey can get to murderin'.

Look, he tweeted this the next morning, as Turkey started advancing:

THAT is why Turkey chose this particular moment to begin massacring Kurds, Liz Cheney, you ASSHOLE.

But sure, tell us about how this is Adam Schiff's fault. Like Turkey was committed to being nice and non-genocide-y, but then they saw Adam Schiff doing Treason Paraphrases in Congress and were like, "Well if that's allowed now, ethnic cleansing must be cool too!"

In other news of avowed Trump toadies reverting to form, Lindsey Graham, who has actually been criticizing Trump for once over the Syria pull-out, has decided that now that Trump is making war sounds on Twitter about putting sanctions on Turkey (which Graham and Cheney both support), everything is obviously OK, because Trump is so well known for writing checks his ass can cash and not caving at the last minute when a dictator tells him he's pretty.

Graham also said this on "Fox & Friends," because again, where else would he say it?


"The good news is the President Trump is going to intervene with the Congress in a way to punish Erdogan unlike any time in Turkey's life. I hate this but he brought it on himself." [...]

We are going to send a signal to Turkey that is unmistakable in the eyes of Erdogan and the world and we're going to break his economy until he stops the bloodshed. [...]

"Erdogan misjudged Trump and he sure as hell misjudged me," he said, adding that both parties were "going to come down on him like a tonne of bricks" with Iranian-type sanctions.

Ooh, big man, Lindsey Graham, GONNA GITCHA!

Hey you guys, we found a picture of Lindsey Graham on his way to Turkey on a special mission from Trump to tell Erdoğan his business, because GONNA GITCHA.

Giphy

Just kidding, that is a pomeranian driving a Barbie Jeep.

Common mistake.

The point of this post is that Liz Cheney should go fuck herself, and that Lindsey Graham drives a Barbie Jeep.

Allegedly.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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