Look Upon Tucker Carlson's Works, Ye Mighty, And Giggle: Reactions To A Small Man's Fall

A sad sad day for wingnutland, yes.

Monday was my day off, so I was actually sitting in a liberal coffee shop in downtown Boise (which is like the Berkeley of Idaho) when the news broke about Tucker Carlson. I didn't overhear any hipsters say a thing about it, because life is not a rightwing Twitter trope. But I did enjoy seeing hundreds of jubilant comments flooding the comments section of the Washington Post  story on Carlson's shitcanning, including one or two outliers which insisted that Carlson had only been fired because he was too powerful at exposing the liberal agenda, or that stupid liberals in the comments were assuming Carlson had been fired when the story clearly said that he'd left to pursue his own projects (which the story didn't say).

Still, let's take a moment to recognize what a rare achievement this is for Mr. Carlson. As Matthew Gertz of Media Matters pointed out, Tucker has now been fired from CNN. MSNBC, PBS, and Fox News. 

So yes, it was a story that had everyone buzzing, at least online. And of course it made literal Russian propagandists sad, too, like Putin mouthpiece Vladimir Soloviev, an enthusiastic booster of the war on Ukraine and a target of international sanctions. In an email to Tucker reposted on Telegram, he encouraged Tucker to buck up, and offered him a new media home:

Dear Tucker,

Today, the United States mainstream media has lost its last remaining voice of reason. As the rest of the world, we have heard about your decision to quit working for Fox Corp. and wholeheartedly support your decision. You have our admiration and support in any endeavor you choose for yourself next, be it running for president of the United States (which you should totally do, by the way) or making an independent media project. We'll happily offer you a job if you wish to carry on as a presenter and host! You are always welcome in Russia and in Moscow, we wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Soloviev Live Team

Not to be outdone, Russian propaganda outlet RT also suggested Tucker should seek a friendlier platform, where "you can always question more":

We're just asking: Should we include Donald Trump Jr. to our list of Russian assets? Tucker really loved asking questions, after all. Junior told Charlie Kirk that he hoped Carlson would keep bringing his "facts, logic, and reason" to Americans, and the punchlines kind of write themselves, don't they?

“Donald Trump Jr comments on Tucker Carlson being out at Fox News Fox News market cap down $1 billion Tucker Carlson unrestricted to Spotify would be great”

— • ᗰISᑕᕼIᗴᖴ ™ • (@• ᗰISᑕᕼIᗴᖴ ™ •) 1682362151 

NBC News correspondent Ben Collins, whose beat is rightwing extremism, offered this succinct commentary on Carlson's firing, the video for "Walkin' on Sunshine."

“https: //t.co/3YPsNzLldN”

— Ben Collins (@Ben Collins) 1682351501 

And don't it feel good? Carlson and fellow reporter Brandy Zadrozny were targeted by Carlson following the November 2022 mass shooting in Colorado Springs because they pointed out Carlson's hate-inciting smears of LGBTQ people for "grooming" children. But you see, Carlson's obsessive hatefulness couldn't have anything to do with a massacre at a gay bar because the shooter's lawyer said he was nonbinary, so any suggestion that Carlson incites murderous rage is "all a grotesque and filthy lie." Carlson had previously smeared Zadrozny for her reporting on online harassment campaigns by white nationalists, lying that her job at NBC News "is personally seeking out and identifying information about anonymous Trump supporters online."

 Zadrozny twote her own thoughts on Carlson's departure:

“🎵Bye byeeeeeeeee 🎶”

— Brandy Zadrozny (@Brandy Zadrozny) 1682350560 

Later Monday, Zadrozny reminded her media colleagues to be very skeptical of any pretended repentance by Carlson, should that ever happen, because remember Glenn Beck? (Oh, wait, that link is to a different time he said he was sorry for wrecking America. Did we really not report on that dumb New York Times story in 2016? Sorry.)

“Everyone let's agree right now we're not gonna do this again”

— Brandy Zadrozny (@Brandy Zadrozny) 1682353355 

We should probably point out that nobody really believed Beck was sorry at the time, and even the Times article was skeptical, albeit probably not enough. The same will be true of any potential Carlson apology tour. Oh, yes, Beck posted a Twitter thread to remind Tucker that God has a reason for everything, and sure, Tucker would be welcome at The Blaze, which is that even still on cable or satellite anymore? It is not, but the website/streaming thing still exists.

We tried to find a video of Fox News announcing Carlson's department, but all we turned up was this Lincoln Project video that used the very careful reading of the network's statement to bookend a collection of Carlson's worst worseness, all to Pachelbel's Canon, so that'll do:

“So many lies, so little time. In memoriam of Tucker Carlson & Fox News, 2009-2023.”

— The Lincoln Project (@The Lincoln Project) 1682365616 

Of that official video, comedian Seth Meyers said, "Wow, I’ve seen more convincing reads on North Korean TV." And on Fox itself, Fox 'n' Friends host Brian Kilmeade filled in during Carlson's time slot, but offered no real insights, saying only that "Fox News and Tucker Carlson have agreed to part ways. I wish Tucker the best. [...] I am great friends with Tucker and always will be." Clearly, somebody really needs to sue Fox for libel again so we can see what Kilmeade actually emailed about Carlson. Maybe something like this? 

“Mood upon hearing the news of Tucker Carlson being canned by Fox: https://t.co/RpM3tCPFkd”

— Jo 🌻 (@Jo 🌻) 1682351658 

Carlson himself hasn't tweeted anything since Friday, assuming that's actually his account, and former CNN media correspondent Brian Stelter points out that, in a real departure for the always-opinionated Carlson, he still hasn't said anything about his own firing as of this morning.

Probably still sorting out all the offers from rightwing vitamin supplement makers and Russian broadcasters, the end.

[ Vanity Fair / WaPo ]

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