Looks Like Donald Trump's Campaign Daddy Might Be Dirty Voter Frauding Bad Guy
UGH WHY IS THIS MAN'S FACE ON WONKET ALL THE TIME TODAY?
Weird news, everyone! It turns out that Stephen Bannon, the new chief of Donald Trump's campaign, might be bad in way more ways than we knew! We already found out that, on top of turning Dead Breitbart into even more of a racist shithole than it was when it was called Live Breitbart (#jokes!), he might just maybe have beated his first ex-wife. And that is a Very Important Story, and let's not forget it. But it also turns out that the voter-frauding and RIGGED! elections Trump and company are always bitching about might be coming from inside the campaign, as The Guardian reports Bannon is registered to vote at some empty house in Florida, where he does not live:
Donald Trump’s new presidential campaign chief is registered to vote in a key swing state at an empty house where he does not live, in an apparent breach of election laws.
Stephen Bannon, the chief executive of Trump’s election campaign, has an active voter registration at the house in Miami-Dade County, Florida, which is vacant and due to be demolished to make way for a new development.
“I have emptied the property,” Luis Guevara, the owner of the house, which is in the Coconut Grove section of the city, said in an interview. “Nobody lives there … we are going to make a construction there.” Neighbors said the property had been abandoned for several months.
Huh! So did he just move out and updating his voter registration has been at the bottom of his to-do list for years or something? Er, no. Actually it seems Bannon never ever actually lived in the house in the first place. According to The Guardian, Bannon's more recent ex-wife, Diane Clohesy, used to live there, and before that, she was in another house he rented for her. He was registered to vote there, too! So it seems he updated his voter registration to a house he does not live at in a swing state that's REALLY FREAKING IMPORTANT in presidential elections.
So where the fuck does he actually live? Well! A Trump dude says Bannon lives at "another location in Florida." According to the LA Times, Bannon is a resident of Laguna Beach, California, a state where his Republican vote for the orange mop of sin and regret named Trump isn't worth dick. Or maybe he lives at this one condo in Los Angeles, according to The Guardian. Or maybe it is the creep-ass place in DC called the "Breitbart Embassy," which is behind the Supreme Court, and is a town-house on the top, and a racist "alt-right" Breitbart douchebag typing factory in the basement. Stephen Bannon lives all the places, and all the places live in Stephen Bannon! Just not now or ever at that house where he is registered, or at the house where he was previously registered.
Here, per The Guardian, are the laws in Florida:
[V]oters must be legal residents of the state and of the county where they register to vote. Guidelines from the Florida department of state say that Florida courts and state authorities have defined legal residency as the place “where a person mentally intends to make his or her permanent residence”.
Wilfully submitting false information on a Florida voter registration – or helping someone to do so – is a third-degree felony punishable by up to five years in prison.
Hmmm! Sounds like his actual voter registrations themselves might have been illegal!
Oh well, whatever the truth is, it's probably Hillary's fault.