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Hey, kids, doesn't a Three Hours' Hate sound like a fun way to spend a Saturday morning in the Greater Los Angeles Area? Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man On the Internet, will be one of the headliners at this Rage-a-Palooza aimed at telling the Lamestream Media to finally start telling the truth for a change! (You know, Benghazi and the traitor in the White House, that sort of thing.) So the Ragers will be probably be gathering to tell off Big Media at one of the many corporate headquarters in the area, right? Yep, right there at...the Federal Building in Westwood. Oh, we get it -- the media are mere mouthpieces for Big Gummint, right, so they're going to yell at a closed government office building. Message sent!


Featured screamers will include these minor-league wingnut luminaries, for whom we have conveniently included Wonkette Rap Sheets:

  • Tony Katz, the teabagger radio guy who thinks people in bridge collapses should man up and swim, not wait for "rescue."
  • Kira Davis, the 20th-hottest conservative woman on a list of 20 Hot Conservative Women.
  • Ann Marie Murrell, a blogger who loves Michele Bachmann's work to "root out things like Islam in America" but is terrified that "you’re not allowed to say, 'They’re here!' without being threatened." The "threat" she worried about? People ridiculing Bachmann.
  • Gary Graham, a gentleman who acted in Alien Nation and Star Trek: Enterprise, and who blogged at Breitbart's Big Hollywood as "One Pissed-Off Dude" back in 2009 about how he is Oppressed by all the liberals in Hollywood.
  • Andrew Marcus, the director of the very brilliant documentary "Hating Breitbart" and a bit player in the Great Jim Hoft Owes Wonkette $3150 Scandal of 2013.

In addition, there will be a bunch of other shouters we've never heard of, including a "comedian" (we don't want to know) and "our POET LAUREATE," Kender MacGowan, whose actual poetry is pretty hard to find online, though we did find this surreal narrative in haiku from 2009. We can't quote the whole thing, sadly, but here's a sample; emphasis in original:

Insomniac wine

Produces twisted thinking

Childhood is lost

Fear not peruser

Fiction of the mind is here

Big Bird is still pure

Elmo screams aloud

But his pleas fall on deaf ears

Bert and Ernie laugh

Floor creaks in the night

Big Bird heaves a lustful sigh

Elmo screams again

Big Bird loads his gun

Dropping ratings threaten job

Teletubbies die

Teletubbies drop

Like flies in a mist of Raid

Big Bird must reload

...

Somehow, the whole mess ends up in this final stanza:

Dopey elected

President of The U.S.

I am not joking

Damn the electric fence! Damn the electric fence! Thank you.

But you know who else will be attending?

We certainly hope that L.A.-area Wonkette Operatives will join us, especially if they're all carrying signs saying "JIM HOFT YOU STILL OWE WONKETTE $3150 #PAYUP and also #PAYTHEFUCKUP."

Incidentally, on that matter, The Stupidest Man On the Internet had this tweet yesterday in response to our most recent story about his astonishing stupidity:

Your editrix could not write this post, as her brain got too splodey. Just to review, let Facts be submitted to a candid world:

      1. Hoft pledged $3000 to "Elizabeth Warren’s favorite minority women’s support group" for "evidence that there were “Nazi symbols” at any of the Tea Party rallies" back in May. Supporters added another $150 to the "challenge."
      2. Wonkette found evidence and said, hey, #payup dude! Also, we are very feminist, and supportive.
      3. Hoft then changed the text in his original post to say the signs had to be "carried approvingly" We have screenshots. After retroactively changing the terms of the challenge, Hoft demanded an apology.
      4. Wonkette replied and noted that Jim Hoft is a lying fuckmoron who owes us $3150 and needs to #payup.
      5. ???????
      6. Jim Hoft now thinks we owe him money for him being wrong and lying. So far, he hasn't gone back to change his original post to say that he's wagering $3000 on the question, but we wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

We need Wonkette operatives to show up for this thing, all right, and how about we throw in the incentive of a follow-up Drinky Thing as an after party? (Details TBA, BYO trucknutz.)

Hoft's Rage Thing gets started at 10 AM Saturday August 17 at the northwest lawn of the Federal Building, 11000 Wilshire Blvd, Westwood CA. Dress as your favorite Founding Father or Deconstructionist critic.

[Gateway Pundit]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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