Louie Gohmert Knows Why God Sent Him To Congress: To Keep Single Moms From Getting Welfare
Oh, Louie Gohmert, you are just the greatest gift to political laughter we have ever seen. Thank goodness for your dedication to keeping the poors in their place. And in fact, in this impassioned commemoration of the 50th anniversary of Lyndon Johnson's 'War on Poverty' speech, Mr. Gohmert reveals what inspired him to get into politics in the first place: not to make America a better place, but to make sure that single mothers wouldn't get no more damn welfare, just as Jesus commanded.
“If it weren’t for the policies in this War on Poverty declared 50 years ago, it may well be that I would not have ever run for Congress,” Gohmert said during a Wednesday night speech on the House floor. “Because what got me thinking about it first as a state district judge back in Texas was seeing more and more young women, single women coming before me -- single moms -- charged with welfare fraud.”
He's such a caring guy. And he believes just about every story he hears about Poors misbehaving, like when they spend all their single mom whore money on crab legs. And he likes to reminisce about his time as a no-nonsense judge in Texas, where miscreants who spoke out of turn would get their heads duct-taped like mummies, because you just can't let those people get out of control. And by golly, where some people go into politics because they want to serve the people or because they hear America singing, Louie Gohmert just wanted to teach the Poors a tough lesson that they needed to learn for their own good -- that's a kind of service to the nation too, now isn't it? You see, after LBJ said he was going to stop poverty, all the Poors started pooping out babies to get a check, even though the check was never enough to really pay for the expenses of all those babies. This is because Poors are D-U-M and Loie Gohmert is S-M-R-T:
One woman had had 15 kids, didn’t even know where they all were, that was the most that I ever dealt with,” Gohmert explained. “It began to really eat away with me that in the 60s the federal government, desiring to help poor moms who were dealing with deadbeat dads, decided, ‘We’ll help, we’ll give a check for every child you can have out of wedlock.’”
“The War on Poverty has been a disaster,” he insisted. “Why do the children have to suffer for the ignorance and stupidity of the government and those who meant well but just did stupid things? It’s tragic.”
We're sort of wondering if Mr. Gohmert understands that these women were charged with a crime precisely because they were cheating at welfare. Because it really sounds like he thinks that just qualifying for welfare is a criminal activity. Hahaha, no, of course there is no distinction.
So to keep the children from suffering from the stupidity of the government, Louie Gohmert has pledged his life, his fortune, and his sacred trust to the noble cause of making sure their mothers don't get any more help with housing or food, and could there be any cause more noble than that?
Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He went into blogging to save children from Louie Gohmert.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.