President Obama can’t do anything right, especially when it comes to kids. For some reason, he will not personally fly to Nigeria to rescue kidnapped schoolgirls, probably because he is lazy. Or maybe it’s because he is pro-child sex trafficking. What, you didn’t know that Obama was totes cool with child sex trafficking? ARE YOU BLIND AND DEAF, SHEEPLE? Let’s let the most authoritative voice on immigration explain it to you:

"When legal status and amnesty is talked about here in Washington, it becomes a magnet and draws people in. And for all of the children that are drawn in illegally, you know that some get sucked into sex slavery," [Rep. Louie] Gohmert said Monday.

LOGIC BOMB, BITCHEZZZ. You can’t argue with that. It is ironclad, impenetrable logic, so don’t even try to give it like eighty-four Pinocchios, PolitFascists! It’s clear that even talking about immigration reform makes kids come to the United States to be sex trafficked, leading to Gohmert’s new campaign slogan against immigration reform: Loose Lips Sink Ships Leads Directly to Child Sex Trafficking So Shut Up About It Already. He’s not a very poetic guy.

But wait. That quote only says that children are drawn into the United States illegally and may be sucked into the sex trade. But he’s not really casting blame on Congress or the President, so maybe we are just a biased liberal mommyblog what hates on Louie Gohmert because he is a puss-filled walking pile of ass boils. Let’s cut him some slack and not be knee-jerk reactionaries. Let the man finish his thought:

“Because of the talk of amnesty in this town and because we do not have a secured border, then this administration, and this Congress also, is complicit in helping lure people into sex trafficking.”

Nevermind. We were right the first time. Fuck that guy. Trust your instincts, kids.

He said lots of other stupid and hateful stuff, like 'fuck those undocumented minors because they don't pay taxes,' because he is a classy fellow. He also lied about the economic argument against immigration reform:

"...for those who make the argument, ‘gee look at all the tax money that the federal coffers will be getting if we just legalize everybody here' -- that’s a bogus argument.”

Except it is not bogus because economists say that "passing the DREAM Act would add $329 billion to the U.S. economy and create 1.4 million jobs by 2030, according to a 2012 study by the Center for American Progress, a left-leaning think tank."

But that is just normal idiotic bullshit that we expect from Gohmert. However, a member of Congress, duly elected to one of the highest offices in the land, saying that both the Administration and Congress are complicit in luring children into sex trafficking is fucking ridiculous. We know that we are outraged at ridiculous shit a lot, but can’t a bipartisan group of Congressmen corner Gohmert in a Rayburn men’s room and give him a swirlie until he promises to shut the fuck up forever? We know that partisan rancor is at an all-time high, but we think some of you can put your differences aside to teach this asshole a lesson. For America.

[Huffington Post]

Follow DDM on Twitter (@Wonksplainer), where he regularly calls politicians things way worse than ‘pus-filled walking piles of ass boils.’