There are so many House races (and Senate races and gubernatorial races) still uncalled, but it looks like the Blue Wave is getting bigger and wavier! So far the Dems have gained more than enough seats to take the House, and a shitload are still outstanding but many of them look very good for us. Yay!

This tweet from GOP Rep. Karen Handel of Georgia's 6th district is the sweetest thing we have seen in a whole day:

That's right, SHE CONCEDED TO LUCY MCBATH. (And we'll even be the bigger Wonkette and give her points for "gracious.")

She conceded to Lucy McBath, who got into politics after her son was shot and killed, because she had to do something about these goddamned GUNS. Lucy McBath, a woman of color who was just elected in the Atlanta suburbs in what used to be an incredibly reliable Republican district. This was the district, remember, where Karen Handel beat Jon Ossoff in last year's special election for the seat formerly occupied by grifty disgraced ex-HHS Secretary Tom Price. Before that, it was NEWT GINGRICH'S seat. That's how Republican it was.

Though there were heartbreaking results Tuesday night -- Beto's loss, Gillum's loss -- and some things are still up in the air, like Stacey Abrams's race against human trashbag Brian Kemp, it is a for sure certainty that some of the awesome newly elected members of the House have those star candidates to thank, at least partly, for pushing up turnout and enthusiasm. Of course, they can also thank their own badass selves. We think for Lucy McBath, it was both!

(We should note real quick that Andrew Gillum's campaign just said that actually there are a bunch more uncounted ballots, so please STAY TUNED TO THAT!)

As for other races we've been waiting for, Dana Rohrabacher's race against Democrat Harley Rouda hasn't been called yet, but Rohrabacher, who was the Kremlin's only elected representative in Congress, is so fucking losing right now, and it appears it's going to stay that way. What's left to count are last minute mailed ballots and provisionals, which according to some article we read and can't find right now tend to lean Democratic. Thing is, Rouda is already up over a point.

So if we were a bettin' man, AND WE AREN'T, looks like Rohrabacher should call his old friend Vlad Putin and see what kinda retirement communities they got outside Moscow, and do they have a full bar.

Regardless, we will tentatively say goodbye to Dana Rohrabacher and say don't let the door hit your Putin-loving drunk ass on the way out and hope Robert Mueller doesn't put you in jail for doing bad Russia stuff! Just kidding, actually we hope Robert Mueller is able to do just that, as we just have a hunch he's guilty of something.

Want more good news? New Mexico's 2nd district has a new Democratic representative-elect, and her name is Xochitl Torres Small. She is a badass 33-year-old water attorney, and her opponent, Yvette Herrell, is a total fucking wingnut who was endorsed by the House Freedom Caucus. The race had originally been called for Herrell, but uh oh, they found all these absentee ballots, and Herrell's lead turned into Torres Small's lead, and Herrell refuses to concede, because she is A Idiot. Anyway, congratulations to Xochitl Torres Small!

Up there in Utah, it sure does look like Republican Mia Love is going to lose to Democrat Ben McAdams in the 4th district. Just like Donald Trump said, she didn't give him enough Love! Actually, fuck the president, because it sounds like the VOTERS didn't give her enough love, womp womp.

Steve Knight conceded to young Democrat Katie Hill in California's 25th, and we're still crossing our fingers that Claudia Tenney, one of the biggest assholes in Congress, is going down in flames to Democrat Anthony Brindisi in New York's 22nd.

As far as other stuff that's still up in the air, Politico is keeping a running list, and the New York Times has a more detailed look at all the outstanding races. Carolyn Bourdeaux's race to unseat GOP Rep. Rob Woodall in Georgia's 7th, next door to Lucy McBath's district, remains too close to call. A bunch of California shit is still too close to call. We still don't know what's going to happen in the Arizona Senate race and we still don't know what's going to happen in the Florida Senate race. And we REALLY don't know what the fuck is going on in Georgia, where Brian Kemp has just announced he's finally resigning as secretary of state, because guess he wants to go pick out pretty carpet with little guns all over it, to decorate the governor's mansion. Just kidding actually Kemp's resignation was announced in court, in proceedings over how Brian Kemp's dirty little hands shouldn't be allowed to count votes IN HIS OWN FUCKING RACE.

And that is what we know about stuff and things right now! We will write another post when we know more stuff and other things!


We'd pop the cork on some champagne in anticipation of his likely impending loss, but he'd probably find a way to stuff the bottle under his armpit and run away to Moscow with it.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Good morning, America! Attorney General Bill Barr is doing a presser at 9:30 AM EDT about the Mueller report, which nobody will be able to see until around noon or after, once Congress gets the redacted report on CDs. Seeing as that is bullshit, there's no reason to watch this thing, as journalists won't be able to ask him questions about a document they haven't seen. So ... go back to bed, everyone!

Ugh, fine, we guess we will do this, and that is because we care, even though we are quite certain HGTV is doing some kind of very important "Property Brothers" marathon that adds much more of value to the national discourse, and also covers it up with shiplap accent walls. Does Bill Barr do cover-ups with shiplap? No, because he doesn't have the good taste for that.

Reportedly, we are going to hear from Barr why certain things were redacted, including why he thinks certain facts are subject to executive privilege, which is funny because he is not the president and therefore cannot invoke executive privilege. But oh whatever! Details! Robert Mueller won't be there and none of his team will be there, which tells you something about how they feel about this whole process. If they felt like this was on the up-and-up, you'd imagine they might show up to present a united front. As that is not happening, assume the entire thing is a bullshit act meant to help Donald Trump set the narrative for what will otherwise be a very bad day for him.

The New York Times reported last night that the White House has already been briefed on significant portions of the report, because Bill Barr is a rightwing scam artist piece of shit who gives the Trump White House reacharounds. The briefings have reportedly been very helpful for the White House in coming up with how to rebut today's report, which is funny because we thought Trump said this report was a full exoneration, NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION. (Actually nope on both counts, since Mueller didn't decide the obstruction question, and even according to Barr's mash notes, he took a very limited view of the conspiracy question, focusing on the Russian government's hack and dump WikiLeaks operation.)

Anyway, assuming Trump is right about full exoneration, we guess Rudy Giuliani's rebuttal will state that Trump is guilty, full stop. Because that's what "rebuttal" means, correct?

Committee chairs in the House including Jerry Nadler, Adam Schiff and Maxine Waters have called upon Bill Barr to cancel today's briefing, as it is useless horseshit. Because Barr literally gives zero fucks about his reputation and apparently is OK with going down in history as a fecal stain on our institutions and the rule of law, the show will go on.

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Now What? Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 18, 2019

Bill Barr's book report, the NRA is doomed, and Johnny Cash will watch over the Capitol. Your morning news brief!


Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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