Lucy McBath Going To Congress! Dana Rohrabacher Probably Going Home To Russia, Or Maybe Jail!
There are so many House races (and Senate races and gubernatorial races) still uncalled, but it looks like the Blue Wave is getting bigger and wavier! So far the Dems have gained more than enough seats to take the House, and a shitload are still outstanding but many of them look very good for us. Yay!
This tweet from GOP Rep. Karen Handel of Georgia's 6th district is the sweetest thing we have seen in a whole day:
After carefully reviewing all of the election results, it is clear that I came up a bit short on Tuesday. Congratul… https://t.co/Min3KVOKzP— Karen Handel (@Karen Handel)1541682563.0
That's right, SHE CONCEDED TO LUCY MCBATH. (And we'll even be the bigger Wonkette and give her points for "gracious.")
She conceded to Lucy McBath, who got into politics after her son was shot and killed, because she had to do something about these goddamned GUNS. Lucy McBath, a woman of color who was just elected in the Atlanta suburbs in what used to be an incredibly reliable Republican district. This was the district, remember, where Karen Handel beat Jon Ossoff in last year's special election for the seat formerly occupied by grifty disgraced ex-HHS Secretary Tom Price. Before that, it was NEWT GINGRICH'S seat. That's how Republican it was.
Though there were heartbreaking results Tuesday night -- Beto's loss, Gillum's loss -- and some things are still up in the air, like Stacey Abrams's race against human trashbag Brian Kemp, it is a for sure certainty that some of the awesome newly elected members of the House have those star candidates to thank, at least partly, for pushing up turnout and enthusiasm. Of course, they can also thank their own badass selves. We think for Lucy McBath, it was both!
(We should note real quick that Andrew Gillum's campaign just said that actually there are a bunch more uncounted ballots, so please STAY TUNED TO THAT!)
As for other races we've been waiting for, Dana Rohrabacher's race against Democrat Harley Rouda hasn't been called yet, but Rohrabacher, who was the Kremlin's only elected representative in Congress, is so fucking losing right now, and it appears it's going to stay that way. What's left to count are last minute mailed ballots and provisionals, which according to some article we read and can't find right now tend to lean Democratic. Thing is, Rouda is already up over a point.
So if we were a bettin' man, AND WE AREN'T, looks like Rohrabacher should call his old friend Vlad Putin and see what kinda retirement communities they got outside Moscow, and do they have a full bar.
Regardless, we will tentatively say goodbye to Dana Rohrabacher and say don't let the door hit your Putin-loving drunk ass on the way out and hope Robert Mueller doesn't put you in jail for doing bad Russia stuff! Just kidding, actually we hope Robert Mueller is able to do just that, as we just have a hunch he's guilty of something.
Want more good news? New Mexico's 2nd district has a new Democratic representative-elect, and her name is Xochitl Torres Small. She is a badass 33-year-old water attorney, and her opponent, Yvette Herrell, is a total fucking wingnut who was endorsed by the House Freedom Caucus. The race had originally been called for Herrell, but uh oh, they found all these absentee ballots, and Herrell's lead turned into Torres Small's lead, and Herrell refuses to concede, because she is A Idiot. Anyway, congratulations to Xochitl Torres Small!
Up there in Utah, it sure does look like Republican Mia Love is going to lose to Democrat Ben McAdams in the 4th district. Just like Donald Trump said, she didn't give him enough Love! Actually, fuck the president, because it sounds like the VOTERS didn't give her enough love, womp womp.
Steve Knight conceded to young Democrat Katie Hill in California's 25th, and we're still crossing our fingers that Claudia Tenney, one of the biggest assholes in Congress, is going down in flames to Democrat Anthony Brindisi in New York's 22nd.
As far as other stuff that's still up in the air, Politico is keeping a running list, and the New York Times has a more detailed look at all the outstanding races. Carolyn Bourdeaux's race to unseat GOP Rep. Rob Woodall in Georgia's 7th, next door to Lucy McBath's district, remains too close to call. A bunch of California shit is still too close to call. We still don't know what's going to happen in the Arizona Senate race and we still don't know what's going to happen in the Florida Senate race. And we REALLY don't know what the fuck is going on in Georgia, where Brian Kemp has just announced he's finally resigning as secretary of state, because guess he wants to go pick out pretty carpet with little guns all over it, to decorate the governor's mansion. Just kidding actually Kemp's resignation was announced in court, in proceedings over how Brian Kemp's dirty little hands shouldn't be allowed to count votes IN HIS OWN FUCKING RACE.
And that is what we know about stuff and things right now! We will write another post when we know more stuff and other things!
But for now, HOORAY LUCY MCBATH! And FUCK DANA ROHRABACHER!
We'd pop the cork on some champagne in anticipation of his likely impending loss, but he'd probably find a way to stuff the bottle under his armpit and run away to Moscow with it.
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