MAGA Terrorist Exhausted After All That Terrorism, Needs A Mexican Vacaaaaaation!!!
Jenny Louise Cudd from Midland, Texas, is a member of the MAGA mob that stormed the Capitol on January 6. Cudd is very busy and important, when not insurrecting, and she politely asked a federal judge if she could travel to the Riviera Maya, a resort region in Mexico, which is not in the United States, from February 18 to 21 for a "work-related bonding retreat." The trip's pre-paid, you see, and the employees and their spouses at her small business are probably looking forward to team-building with an accused domestic terrorist.
And the judge didn't immediately declare, “No, Ms. Accused Domestic Terrorist, you may not leave the country! Even if you promise to bring us back one of those colorful hammocks." The request was “noted," and the prosecution didn't remind everyone that she's a flight risk because she's literally asking to flee the country.
Cudd's not even simply an “accused" domestic terrorist. She confessed to all the crimes in a viral Facebook Live post.
Meet Jenny Cudd from Midland Texas "WE did break down @SpeakerPelosi's office door and somebody stole her gavel and… https://t.co/N8sLUX36uY— Cleavon MD (@Cleavon MD)1610064609.0
CUDD: We didn't vandalize anything, but ... we did break down Nancy Pelosi's office door. Somebody stole her gavel. I took a picture sitting in the chair flipping off the camera and that was on Fox News. Patriots got down on the floor and were sitting in the House members and the senators' chairs.
I'm no lawyer, but that's all technically vandalism. Of course, I'm just a Black guy who won't let his son play with toy guns. (White people, stop giving my kid water pistols or even Star Wars blasters! Cops can't tell the difference when a Black child is holding them.) Cudd is a white person accustomed to doing whatever she wants. Still, I have to think that she'd object if a violent gang broke into her home for a little “surprise visit," even if they just sat on her couch and took a small trophy with them. The GOP claimed that would happen every day in President Joe Biden's America.
Cudd was arrested and charged with some piddly-ass misdemeanors, including entering a federal building without permission and engaging in disorderly conduct. This was a goddamn terrorist attack! Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick was killed while trying to stop these assholes. The federal felony murder rule would apply if someone died while you were committing, for example, sabotage (you know, actively disrupting congressional certification of Biden's win), burglary, or robbery (yes, swiping the speaker's gavel counts). If the MAGA mob was Muslim, prosecutors would be under tremendous pressure to make a felony murder charge stick. Republicans would accuse them of letting “cop killers" walk.
I know liberals might argue that the felony murder rule is objectively bad, so allow me to retort: “Shut up, white people!" Black teens are handcuffed and detained for “trespassing" in a school gym. The only way to eliminate felony murder is if it applies to everyone, including the very common Jenny Louise Cudds. When an unfair system just affects Black people, there's no major rush to end it. Remember slavery?
Justice is not color-blind. Black protesters were charged with felonies last summer for offenses no more egregious than Cudd's brazen actions. They were lucky if they got bail, let alone permission to leave the country. The one-term loser tweeted last summer that "Sleepy Joe Biden's people are so Radical Left that they are working to get the Anarchists out of jail."
I've no problem with releasing Cudd on bail. There's no evidence she's an immediate violent threat, and they let Marjorie Taylor Greene roam free.
The filing, obtained by USA TODAY, noted that Cudd has no prior criminal history and has remained in contact with her attorney and pretrial service officer, who had no objection to her proposed travel plan. Prosecutors took "no position" on the request.
A U.S. magistrate approved the request, ordering that her pretrial travel restrictions to be amended to allow the four-day trip.
Cudd probably has no prior criminal history because she didn't grow up in a community that was over-policed. She was never busted for jaywalking or persuaded to take a plea deal to avoid jail time for a crime she didn't commit. She was never treated as a criminal, not even when she admits on video that she's a criminal. She'll never stop being white.
The one-term loser kicked off his presidential campaign with a rant about how Mexico wasn't sending us “their best." Now, an insurrectionist who invaded the Capitol on his behalf wants to work on her tan at a Mexican resort.
It's all too much.
UPDATE: USA Today has corrected its story stating that the judge had agreed to Cudd's request to flee the country. Let's hope she stays put and, worse, loses her deposit.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).