Maine Republican Takes Bold Stand Against Free Lobster For ISIS Terror Bombers
See this pie, ISIS? You can't have none!
[contextly_sidebar id="xNDWnHRBfZIBFj3drgJpYPFqoojlcjab"]When you are a Republican from Maine, you have to work HARD to come up with new ways to be a dick. Sociopath Gov. Paul LePage's SPECIALTY, the thing that gives him morning wood, is taking food stamps away from poor people. One time he wanted to take away SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) funds from people who have more than $5,000 in assets, because people with riches like that shouldn't be taking handouts. Another time he was worried the innocent children of people with drug convictions might want to eat food. maybe you have a drug conviction and you have kids who need to eat. Fuck them, said Gov. LePage. For real, he actually likes to regulate the kind of artisan baloney poors are allowed to buy.
How's a wingnut gonna even get noticed with competition like that? Well, a Maine Republican who serves as a freshman congressman in the United States House has A Idea:
U.S. Rep. Bruce Poliquin of the 2nd Congressional District said Wednesday that he is preparing to submit proposed legislation that would bar anyone convicted of association with a terrorist attack from ever receiving food stamp benefits.
The bill, which Poliquin says he will file with U.S. House of Representatives staff on Monday, is called the No Welfare for Terrorists Act. It would close what Poliquin said is a loophole in qualification criteria for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, more commonly known as food stamps. That benefit is already banned for people convicted of violent crimes such as murder and rape. But according to Poliquin, the ban does not extend to people who are convicted of aiding terrorists.
"Take THAT, Governor LePage! I'm in the BIG Congress and I'm gonna take food stamps from ISIS! How you like me now?" Did we mention that Poliquin is a freshman congressman? Ayup.
So, is this a big problem we have, in America? Does ISIS bomb all our everythings (which happens all the time, if you are A Idiot who believes such things), and then immediately jihad its way down to the food stamp office to apply for benefits that are reserved for REAL AMERICANS, and which should obviously be denied anyway because those Real Americans aren't pulling their boots up by their bootstraps? How dare ISIS do such a thing?!
We shouldn't be mean, because maybe the good congressman knows this happens all the time, and we don't because we are dumb.
Poliquin said by phone Wednesday that he is unaware of anyone convicted of involvement in a terrorist action receiving food stamps in the past, but he is more concerned with the future.
Rep. Poliquin is full of statements about how good his bill is:
“It absolutely makes no sense whatsoever to have folks who are trying to kill us, and have been successful to some degree, to provide welfare for them. It’s just crazy.” [...]
“There should be no welfare for terrorists, period.”
Ho-kay, well, we are glad he feels strongly about this! According to the Bangor Daily News, Poliquin's colleagues in the House and Senate, like Democratic Rep. Chellie Pingree, Republican Sen. Susan Collins and independent Sen. Angus King are "noncommittal" on whether they support the bill, saying they all want to read it before they decide. See if you can read between the lines of this statement from Pingree's spokesperson:
“I think everyone agrees that terrorists shouldn’t get federal benefits, but we are going to wait until we see the bill before commenting on this particular piece of legislation,” said [spokesperson Willy] Ritch.
TRANSLATION: Yeah, good idea, buddy! We shouldn't give free handouts to murderous terrorists who kill us! Did you come up with that idea all on your lonesome? Can we pat you on the head now, like a Mr. Big Congressman guy?
In short, it's a good thing the country has no more pressing problems than something this congressman pulled forth from his butt.