Manhattan DA Takes A Bite Of Trump's Big Apple

New York, New York, it's a hell of a town, Vance is up, and Trump's goin' down. Well, maybe! Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance has subpoenaed the Trump Organization and the National Enquirer's parent company, AMI, for records relating to the Stormy Daniels hush money payments. So with a little luck, Bill Barr won't be able to stick a shiv into the investigation of Trump's porn star pecker payoff after all. Allegedly!

The New York Times reports that Vance's office is investigating the president's company for possibly falsifying business records and violating tax laws by trying to disguise the payments to Stormy Daniels as a reimbursement for legal work.

Here, Wonkette is a happy helper!

Oh, lookie loo! That's a check signed by the sitting president reimbursing his personal attorney Michael Cohen for the money he fronted to Daniels to shut her up about bumping her bits against Trump's weird Mario Kart mushroom peener. Remember that funny time when superlawyer and mental health poster child Rudy Giuliani went on Hannity and helpfully explained that this was definitely a payment made to influence the election -- "Imagine if that came out on Oct. 15, 2016, in the middle of the last debate with Hillary Clinton!" -- and then went on to admit that it had been laundered through the Trump Organization?

When I heard Cohen's retainer of $35K when he was doing no work for the president, I said that's how he's repaying it. With a little profit and a little margin for paying taxes.

Oh, Rudes!

"It's just harassment of the president, his family and his business, using subpoenas as weapons. We will respond as appropriate," Trump's NOT A IDIOT attorney Marc Mukasey told the Times. And good luck to him! Federal courts have been somewhat deferential to the president's whinging about "legitimate legislative purpose" when Congress subpoenas his records, but New York state judges are unlikely to put up with that shit.

And people who don't wish to subject themselves to the jurisdiction of New York courts would do well to park their businesses safely in the bosom of Red State, 'Murika. You pays your money, and you takes your chances!

Cyrus Vance has a lot of ground to make up, since that time in 2012 he let Daddy's little fraudsters Vanky and Deej skate for lying to investors in the Trump Tower Soho after a well-timed $50,000 donation to his reelection campaign from Trump lawyer Marc Kasowitz. That is, in highfalutin legal parlance, a bad fuckin' look. But your Wonkette will issue a special dispensation if Mr. Vance actually brings charges against this band of criminals.

We want to be a part of it, New York, New Yo-ooooork!


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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