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Marco Rubio is very confused by Chris Wallace's Iraq questions, which are the same questions Jeb Bush continually fucked up last week, so, as a Serious Heavyweight Presidential Contender, he should have been prepared. However, whereas Jeb Bush's face would gloss over in confusion every time he tried to answer Iraq questions, Marco Rubio took the entirely different brilliant tack of insisting that the questions were hard, refusing to understand them, and being downright testy about it.

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Wallace plays Rubio a clip of him telling the interviewer on "The Five" that it was not a mistake to go into Iraq, because Saddam Hussein was a Mean, but then weeks later, telling another interviewer that, OF COURSE he wouldn't go in to Iraq, knowing what we know now, that would make him a great big Dumb! This set Rubio up for the gotcha portion of the interview, where he was asked the same exact fucking question, so that he could tie himself up in knots trying to answer:

WALLACE: Senator, isn't that a flip? Six weeks ago, it made sense to invade Iraq in 2003, now you say it was a mistake.

RUBIO: No, they're two different questions. It was not a mistake. The president, based on -- this is the way the real world works -- the president, based on the information that was provided ... [...]

WALLACE: She was saying "based on the information we know now" ...

RUBIO: Well, heh. Based on what we know now, a lot of things, based on what we know now, I wouldn't have, you know, thought Manny Pacquiao was gonna beat, in that fight a couple weeks ago ...

Oh good, Marco Rubio knows how the "real world works," and also understands the concept of sometimes we know things, but other times we don't know things, which means we will make different decisions based on whether we currently know the things, or don't. Also, he did not have psychic powers about that fight. This man is PRESIDENTIAL. Moving on:

WALLACE: You were asked the same question, and you said it made sense ...

RUBIO: No, it was not the same question. The question was whether it was a mistake, and my answer was, it's not a mistake. I still say it was not a mistake, because the president was presented with intelligence that said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, it was governed by a man who had committed atrocities in the past with weapons of mass destruction.

WALLACE: But what she asked you was, "was it a mistake to go to war with Iraq?"

RUBIO: It was NOT a mistake, given the fact what the president knew at the time ...

WALLACE, SO FUCKING EXASPERATED: No! She didn't say that, she just said "was it a mistake?"

This goes ON AND ON, with Rubio explaining that two questions are different, because different words are in them, and Wallace just keeps beating his head against the desk, until finally Rubio says, "In hindsight, the world is a better place because Saddam Hussein is not there. But I wouldn't characterize it as, I don't understand the question." FINALLY, he admits that he is dumb! The question, which has four words in it, is simply too hard, and Rubio would rather run around in circles chasing his own dick to avoid having to process the words through his brain and actually give an answer.

Besides, how can a person even know things in the first place? Marco Rubio knows that you cannot know a thing, especially about Iraq, not if you are the president. He adds this brilliant declaration later in the interview: "A president cannot make a decision based on what someone might know in the future!"

All right then. Glad we have cleared that up. We are amazed that Rubio actually managed to fuck it up harder than Jeb Bush, since Rubio wasn't even trying to avoid calling his own brother a great big bag of dumb salted dicks. This man is GOING PLACES.

[Raw Story]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.

[Sun-Times]

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That's right, Wonkers, while we're all up here in America dealing with the terribleness, your Editrix and her fambly are in MEXICO AT THE BEACH, where they will probably stay for a little while longer or maybe they're never coming back SHRUGGIE EMOTICON. But that's OK, they deserve some time to be AT THE BEACH in MEXICO, oh no, don't get NATIONAL EMERGY CARAVANNED!

Yeah, so it's time to count down your top ten stories of the week, like we do on Saturday mornings. Shall we? WE SHALL.

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