Marco Rubio is very confused by Chris Wallace's Iraq questions, which are the same questions Jeb Bush continually fucked up last week, so, as a Serious Heavyweight Presidential Contender, he should have been prepared. However, whereas Jeb Bush's face would gloss over in confusion every time he tried to answer Iraq questions, Marco Rubio took the entirely different brilliant tack of insisting that the questions were hard, refusing to understand them, and being downright testy about it.

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Wallace plays Rubio a clip of him telling the interviewer on "The Five" that it was not a mistake to go into Iraq, because Saddam Hussein was a Mean, but then weeks later, telling another interviewer that, OF COURSE he wouldn't go in to Iraq, knowing what we know now, that would make him a great big Dumb! This set Rubio up for the gotcha portion of the interview, where he was asked the same exact fucking question, so that he could tie himself up in knots trying to answer:

WALLACE: Senator, isn't that a flip? Six weeks ago, it made sense to invade Iraq in 2003, now you say it was a mistake.

RUBIO: No, they're two different questions. It was not a mistake. The president, based on -- this is the way the real world works -- the president, based on the information that was provided ... [...]

WALLACE: She was saying "based on the information we know now" ...

RUBIO: Well, heh. Based on what we know now, a lot of things, based on what we know now, I wouldn't have, you know, thought Manny Pacquiao was gonna beat, in that fight a couple weeks ago ...

Oh good, Marco Rubio knows how the "real world works," and also understands the concept of sometimes we know things, but other times we don't know things, which means we will make different decisions based on whether we currently know the things, or don't. Also, he did not have psychic powers about that fight. This man is PRESIDENTIAL. Moving on:

WALLACE: You were asked the same question, and you said it made sense ...

RUBIO: No, it was not the same question. The question was whether it was a mistake, and my answer was, it's not a mistake. I still say it was not a mistake, because the president was presented with intelligence that said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, it was governed by a man who had committed atrocities in the past with weapons of mass destruction.

WALLACE: But what she asked you was, "was it a mistake to go to war with Iraq?"

RUBIO: It was NOT a mistake, given the fact what the president knew at the time ...

WALLACE, SO FUCKING EXASPERATED: No! She didn't say that, she just said "was it a mistake?"

This goes ON AND ON, with Rubio explaining that two questions are different, because different words are in them, and Wallace just keeps beating his head against the desk, until finally Rubio says, "In hindsight, the world is a better place because Saddam Hussein is not there. But I wouldn't characterize it as, I don't understand the question." FINALLY, he admits that he is dumb! The question, which has four words in it, is simply too hard, and Rubio would rather run around in circles chasing his own dick to avoid having to process the words through his brain and actually give an answer.

Besides, how can a person even know things in the first place? Marco Rubio knows that you cannot know a thing, especially about Iraq, not if you are the president. He adds this brilliant declaration later in the interview: "A president cannot make a decision based on what someone might know in the future!"

All right then. Glad we have cleared that up. We are amazed that Rubio actually managed to fuck it up harder than Jeb Bush, since Rubio wasn't even trying to avoid calling his own brother a great big bag of dumb salted dicks. This man is GOING PLACES.

[Raw Story]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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