Martin O'Malley For President Of Pointing And Laughing At Sarah Palin

  • At first, when former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley declared on Saturday that he also too would like to be president please, we were like, OK, whatever, sure, keep the Democratic primary race interesting, yay democracy. Plus, O'Malley did good liberal-y things while he was governor, like murdering the death penalty and taxing God's sweet tears. But then some other used-to-be governor had to "write" a bunch of "words" on the FacePlace about how O'Malley is a liberal so he sucks and hates freedom and derp derp fart also too:

    With today's more-of-the-same distract-sphere – with the politician sounding exactly like all the others – don't you wonder if there are ANY good old fashioned Blue Dog democrats who can represent the left’s party in the 2016 race? I feel kind of bad for democrats who are as embarrassed about their party leaving them as some of us Republicans are about our own party when we hear the GOP talk a good game but dishonorably capitulate when given the majority power to stop Obama's nonsense.

    Sorry, Sarah Palin, but the Blue Dog Democrats got chased out of office, for sucking at being Democrats, but thanks for your concern. ANYHOO, O'Malley, it turns out, has a great sense of humor, and he appreciates Sarah Palin's concern too ALSO TOO:

    Not that she ever will, as O'Malley and everyone else knows, because she is a lazy whiny quitter loser, but now we have to give extra points to O'Malley for basically calling her that, so sure, why not, in addition to Madam Hillz and America's favorite socialist Bernie Sanders, O'Malley for president too!

  • Secretary of State John Kerry went for a bike ride in un-American France, and it did not go well:

    U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry broke his right femur in a cycling accident in Scionzier, France, on Sunday morning, State Department spokesman John Kirby said. [...]

    The spokesman said Kerry was in "great spirits and active" and has had a number of phone calls, including one with President Barack Obama. [...]

    The secretary is stable, his injury is not life-threatening and he should make a full recovery, Kirby said.

  • Can't say this is surprising:

    Dennis Hastert's Illinois alma mater has removed his name from a center titled in his honor, after the former U.S. House speaker was indicted for allegedly lying to the FBI and trying to cover up past "misconduct." [...]

    "In light of the charges and allegations that have emerged, the College has re-designated the Center as the Wheaton College Center for Economics, Government, and Public Policy at this time," the statement [from Wheaton College] said.

  • Amazing discovery, from which we'll no doubt learn even more reasons to be horrified:

    On Dec. 3, 1794, a Portuguese slave ship left Mozambique, on the east coast of Africa, for what was to be a 7,000-mile voyage to Maranhão, Brazil, and the sugar plantations that awaited its cargo of black men and women.

    Shackled in the ship’s hold were between 400 and 500 slaves, pressed flesh to flesh with their backs on the floor. With the exception of daily breaks to exercise, the slaves were to spend the bulk of the estimated four-month journey from the Indian Ocean across the vast South Atlantic in the dark of the hold. [...]

    On Tuesday, the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African-American History and Culture, along with the Iziko Museums of South Africa, the Slave Wrecks Project, and other partners, will announce in Cape Town that the remnants of the São José have been found, right where the ship went down, in full view of Lion’s Head Mountain. It is the first time, researchers involved in the project say, that the wreckage of a slaving ship that went down with slaves aboard has been recovered.

  • Our friends at Happy Nice Time People have a Netflix recommendation in case you need one:

    I was never into the Sex And the City franchise. Mostly because I was too young during its original 1998-2004 to appreciate a show about women in their thirties talking about sex and the city. But the series defined a generation of women into Carries, Charlottes, Mirandas, and Samanthas who were eager to buy all sorts of merchandise–DVDs, posters, character-inspired outfits, and tickets to two theatrical releases. [...]

    Unable to milk any more cash out of Generation X, the execs decided to turn their attention to the Millennials. Luckily for them, Candace Bushnell, author of the newspaper column that inspired SATC, also wrote a prequel novel about Carrie’s adventures as a teenager. The CW picked it up, hoping to create a new audience for the franchise and capitalize on the revival of 80s fashion trends. [...]

    I never watched it during its original two season run, which wrapped up in 2014. But then I found it on Netflix, and I was like, “Oh, I’ll watch one episode of this stupid show and make fun of it so I can feel superior.” Now I’m in love and genuinely disappointed that season 3 never happened.

    Here’s why:

    Click to find out and see if this is just the summer binge-watching you need.


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